Have you ever been doing some things in life and you felt uneasy and not at all at peace with your inner self...
From as simple as maybe taking someone's thing w/o permission?
Or probably seeing someone whom your family and friends disapprove of?
Or something as hard as killing someone w/o reporting?
Or being pregnant n going for an abortion ?
And no matter how hard you try, your heart still feels heavy...
Today as I sat at the Adoration Room in church , I looked into the Blessed Sacrament and I couldn't be at peace with myself. Time has flown pass so fast and it has been yet another year and many things have occurred in my life. I may have in my own way hurt people unintentionally, broken friendships and probably even rob someone off his/her smile. I wanted so much to have the chance to say a sorry but I dono what I should do. Will he / she forgive me ? or would there even be a chance our friendship would be back again ?
As I sat at the adoration room , my own broken friendships and past relationships I had filled my mind and I couldn't help but to cry out to God for his love. I sat there just letting those tears roll down my cheeks and just wondering to myself " why would God create such a imperfection like me when he is in all ways so Perfect?" Slowly I closed my eyes and drifting off into a nap when I felt as though being covered with a pair of warm hands , I felt so comforted. It was as though he was trying to show me his love for me despite my imperfections.
I left this Adoration room feeling better. Went through the evening meeting up with my friend. Spend an hour at Challenger just mere chatting and listening to an old song I used to hear - Tchaikovsky - Swan Lake
but I am sure glad my friend feels better living the life now - least it appears to me that life w/o me seems so much more fulfilling.