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Sunday, December 05, 2010

Miracles in my life

You know how i always find that my life is full of unexpected fun, trills and adventure.
well this one led me in this steep jump. a deeper leap into my faith journey with him.
the last 7 days was the most thrilling rollar coaster ride.

It was quite a while back when I happen to stumble on this guy who was standing outside adoration room just before class. I walked up to him and chatted. He asked me questions which left me speechless (certainly he was quite happy to have left me dumb founded). Guess somehow in me, I wanted to help me and know answers for myself & i guess he was kinda God's way of Leading me to think more about God and his purpose for me.

For a couple of weeks I have asking searching for some answers. Until one point I tot to myself, Why am I searching so much when the answer in right smack in my face. HE IS THE ANSWER.
Sometimes In life am i wanting to find a logical explanation or a reason to challenge every single answer I have, refusing to be open to what he has for me. OF COZ, I STOPPED.

Things led up to confirmation camp where I had a closer chance to talk to him. I just couldn't coz it is not within my capabilities. I asked Fr Stan to talk to him. Still it was not what he wanted.

The next day, he said, probably this religion is not the one i want. That time I knew that it was not me who should be there for him. I needed someone else. That someone who is able to answer him. HE is non other than his own creator - GOD. During one session, when i was told to be still and call upon the Lord. I too did so. And He just said. "tell him to give me 1 more chance." but in my head i just said "HOW? and WHY ... since he has made up his mind?" than later a scene from NICK session came to me, the passion of Christ & I heard a soft voice from behind me say "coz I love HIM & u are my instrument." SO... reluctantly i got the message across to him. HE broke down at dinner .. didn't eat much for his meal but that night I stayed up just chatting with him and this time, I prayed before so it was so much more easier and i know HE was by my side trying to talk to him.

What i realise was that Somehow it came to a point where i was relying on my own strength to push on trying to help him. I broke down. I could not do so. But it was when I could let go and let God take place in me that I could move on.

Lesson learn "if only when we are willing to have More of him and less of us. Acknowledging that we are just to be his instrument, can his love be shown to everyone."

By that night he had 5 days to find out why he needs and want to be confirmed. I have been journeying with him for this 5 days seeing him grow & learn to love the people around him. He too has slowly broken down his " wall of defence " towards me, slowly he start to feel for things and not with his HEAD. I saw him change. Guess what just a day before confirmation I became his Godma. How in the world did this happen , I do not know. but this miracle boy has really taught me patience.

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