in todays reading I reflected back on the people requested for a king from Samuel & God ask him to give them a king & sometimes we are so impatient with God that we neglect his true purpose for us patience is not the ability to wait but the ability to keep a good attitude while waiting. in life we look for immediate answers( as though GOD is instant noodle) but we must always remember His time is not our time. For the pass few weeks I have always asked God what I should do, instead of asking him what he wants me to do. Sometimes I really wonder to myself should I fight for what I really want? Is it really wrong to fight for what the happiness I want despite knowing it maybe a loosing battle ? How would the other party feel ? Being me, I am always thinking for others & how others feel & I do not want to make others upset. I am but a human , I have my humanly feelings as much as I know what I should do as Christ's Princess. Guess only time can tell, but a friend ask me before , how long am i gonna wait ? (2 years ? 5 years ? forever ? ) I do not know . Was hanging out with someone last night & I shared about how I felt ,
I guess I have not really treated someone with so much care, love & concern as I did to you.
Of coz as a girl, I would always look for guys who would love me more than I can give .
When u are sad , I would go all out to cheer u up (when I am by your side) , even to the extent of being a fool in front of u ( recalled daniels words).
When you are sick, I would be worried & thinking how you are, and even hope the day could end early so I could run to see u.
When you are not with me , I would always pray and hope that God will take care of you and bring u safely to meet me again.
Don go too much on feelings, some may say but I can safely say I am not , but I guess I love you enough to let you make your own choice & even let u go ( it is hard ) .
U know from where I am now, I know if it is hard for me to let go, it is & would be twice as hard for you. I know it is , I know u well enough hence i am not expecting any replies from u coz i do not want to force u .
I guess " patience & Obedience is better than sacrifice, and submission than the fat of rams. "
* do not know what came over me to write this but well if anyone who reads it and do not understand ... ignore this post
A Prayer I found really meaningful today