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Thursday, December 30, 2010

Dear God,

Yet another interesting day out. With friends, work colleagues and even play. I even saw u at mass though I know I was talking most of the time. But as we had our thanks giving party today, I am glad to see our confirmands having a fun time. Though there were indeed many ups and downs, I do thank you for the life you gave me this past year. Thank you for using me as your instrument.

Your daughter

1 John 2:15 - 17

Do not love the world or the things of the world.
If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him.
For all that is in the world,
sensual lust, enticement for the eyes, and a pretentious life,
is not from the Father but is from the world.
Yet the world and its enticement are passing away.
But whoever does the will of God remains forever.

This passage really hit me hard at mass today & as I stood there reflecting on these words, I tot to myself, "to what extend am I attached to the world?" a question i used to ask myself when I was in secondary school & polytechnic. Somehow I used to tell my parents that I if one day Jesus was to take me, know that I am happy where I am. I am ready & I know he is going to take care of me. But in some point in time, this started to change. Reality starts to set in, fear of worldly detachment sets in. I always ask for one more day rather than refusing his offer. Guess this passage was a wake up call to my insensitivity to HIM. It also shows me my failings as a product of God especially when I get suck into the world, conforming to its needs & wants. How about you ? How are you surviving in this world? Are you hostile towards God and alienated from him?

Well Loving of the world and loving of God are thus mutually exclusive. Loving the world & all that is within , is indeed good. BUT have you ever thought... if one day, just one day all these "beautiful" things fade away - what is left of you? Who is going to take care of you. None other that the one who created you. But Loving God is another thing, He has no other condition but to ask of us to love the people he has placed in our lives. Today we are once again challenge to do the will of God. Sometimes, the will of God really requires for us to love those who are hardest to love, to shed light onto people who find it hard to feel the presence of HIS love.

But of coz, this reading also talks on the Sensual lust that one may have. This includes "the lust of the flesh," inordinate desire for physical gratification. Enticement for the eyes: literally, "the lust of the eyes," ; the eyes are regarded as the windows of the soul. Pretentious life: literally, "pride of life," arrogance or ostentation in one's earthly style of life that reflects a willful independence from God and others.

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Are we hypocrites ?

As I was reflecting on the readings of today, I recall stumbling upon a comment of one of my cousins stating at we are all hypocrites. This word lingered in my head and it kind of relates back to the readings of today from 1 John 2:3-11

The way we may be sure that we know Jesus
is to keep his commandments.
Whoever says, “I know him,” but does not keep his commandments
is a liar, and the truth is not in him.
But whoever keeps his word,
the love of God is truly perfected in him.
This is the way we may know that we are in union with him:
whoever claims to abide in him ought to walk just as he walked

In this passage it says of those who have claimed to have known Christ and therefore knows him - is not just merely through the intellectual knowledge but the obedience to God's commandments in a life conformed to the example of Christ; this confirms our knowledge of him and is the love of God . . . perfected. Disparity between moral life and the commandments proves improper belief. I guess this passages this few days really brings me back to the times when someone asked me, "what is it like to live a live in Christ?" The readings of today clearly states that in order for us to have known HIM, is for him to have truly lived in us & if he is in us, we will manifest him through our thoughts, words and actions of LOVE.

Just like the saying that when someone in love, we claim to have known him. But none the least you will definitely, in time to come, take on the characteristic of the other - the way they talk, walk, think and behave.

Whoever says he is in the light,
yet hates his brother, is still in the darkness.
Whoever loves his brother remains in the light,
and there is nothing in him to cause a fall.
Whoever hates his brother is in darkness;
he walks in darkness
and does not know where he is going
because the darkness has blinded his eyes.

This is where i found the passage mostly relating to the hypocritical side of humans. At times when we can get all holy, go to church, serve in ministries, but at the end of it create politics , backstabbing, an utterly ugly side of the us as humans. I guess I also say so for people in and outside of church. Some fellow Christian bro n sis. They claim to be in CHRISTians but yet when it comes to living out our christian values, it takes a 180 degrees turn. "I would only love if ....." Aren't we all called to LOVE? To give the unconditional Love to everyone? To love those that are hardest to love - colleagues, family members, friends, students, teachers or adults? aren't we just mere Hypocrites?

In today's reading Christ also challenges us to express the continuity and freshness of mutual charity in Christian experience - wherever we are (not only in church). And if we say that Christ is the commandment of love and has become the light. He would be the one who can defeat the darkness. All hatred as darkness is incompatible with the light and Christian life.

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Tell the Truth all the Time

Normally in the readings of the day I would never focus much on the readings but mostly on the Gospel. But somehow today's reading hit me. It touched me quite deep & set me thinking about things. The readings was taken from 1 John 1:5 - 2:2

God is light, and in him there is no darkness at all.
If we say, “We have fellowship with him,”
while we continue to walk in darkness,
we lie and do not act in truth.

When i opened the page of the readings & I reflecting on this passage. It made me realize that whenever, as humans, we always say "we are Catholics" a loyal follower of Christ, a believer and a person who attends mass every day or every week. But how much do we act in the truth? and in fact walk in the light of Christ. I remember at con camp my Godson told me, "I am not a catholic". I got quite defensive at first coz I always believe that once we are baptize into this family of God we are forever catholics. But as I pondered about this passage what he says kinda make sense to me. The reason for him not admitting to be a "catholic" was the way he felt he has / was lead his life - in darkness and lost in experiential part of his faith - as well as the in ability to comprehend the God whom we all talk about. As I sat here thinking these questions, I tot to myself how many of us really are able to comprehend God - ZERO ! How many of us who admit to be Christ followers, really walk in the Light? Are we really Christ Followers or are we Hypocrites?

But if we walk in the light as he is in the light,
then we have fellowship with one another,
and the Blood of his Son Jesus cleanses us from all sin.

But what exactly is the "Light" we are talking about ? John 3:19 , 17:17 and Eph 5:8 talks about the same light. Light is to be understood as truth and goodness; darkness here is error and depravity. I simply can't imagine living life in darkness, deceit and where backstabbing, bitch fighting occurs constantly. I recall Fr Yim said this phrase at a baptism mass a couple of weeks ago "Tell the truth, ALL the TIME, coz God is Truth"

To walk in light or darkness is to live according to truth or error, not merely intellectual but moral as well. Sometimes in life we might just forgo our moral standards to live according to the expectations of society. But when we are baptize into this family of God, we are called to Fellowship with God and with one another. Upholding a life according to the truth as found in God and in Christ. BUT than this may seem easy for me to just type on the blog but it is never easy to carry out. So how? That's where in our incapability, we rely on the HOly spirit and God to help us live a life of truth.

If we say, “We are without sin,” we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we acknowledge our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive our sins and cleanse us from every wrongdoing.

Since we are called to live a life of Truth, we need to know what the conditions of sins are. However the delibrate denial of the condition of sin is self-deception and even contradictory of divine revelation; - hence it is like a sin over another sin. There was someone who told me that they don't find what they have done sinful. I stood there frozen for a few mins & I wondered how could that be so. I guess how I would reply to that person would be to think of all those things we have done in our lives and how has it showed ourselves to be faithful and loving to God?

If we say, “We have not sinned,” we make him a liar, and his word is not in us.

Well like we all should have by now know that we are all sinners & we by saying at the point of confession that we have no sin, we are lying. But none the least what marvels me the most is the constant love and mercy Christ has for us to be able to absorb us off all our sins no matter how unfaithful and unloving we are to HIM. Can you think of the times you someone has hurt you, was it easy to say , I forgive you & lets forget about the incident and move on? What made you do that? At the end of this I too stopped and think , though we may at times be hypocrites or sinners, God still loves us. All the same.

Forgiveness and deliverance from sin through Christ are assured through acknowledgment of them and repentance.

My children, I am writing this to you
so that you may not commit sin.
But if anyone does sin, we have an Advocate with the Father,
Jesus Christ the righteous one.
He is expiation for our sins,
and not for our sins only but for those of the whole world.

I like this last part of the reading coz it really sums it up for me - to be ever ready for his kingdom to remain in the state of grace at all times with him in order to enjoy his mercy and love. and


Friday, December 24, 2010

Christmas Eve With My love ones!!!

Oh my !! our current batch & oldies from TOL ... memories & I do miss old times as much as I would yearn for new happenings.

Nothing Beats having a bunch of friends you love around you for Christmas Eve Mass!!

Confirmands & TOL

My most outstanding TLs in 2010... I love you man Louis

SUPER Late Supper with my GODSON!!! as usual Camwhoring away in MACS

NICK & ME... 1st time attending mass together.

PAUL & ME... every year I never fail to take a pic with you... Thanks for standing by me all this times

Andy & James.... hmmm great friendship forged... I would not foresee this coming 3 months back .....remember ...

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Lets see... Christmas Coming so .. tot i post some nice christmas song for you all & may you have a blessed and Merry Christmas

Oh my .. this is one of the best Christmas Song sang by this movie.
For all those who are searching for Christmas ...

This is by Faith Hill!!

My Mother's Fav Song

Away in a Manger ... how gently the messiah lies... Hearing this song brings back memories from my Primary school Christmas Pageant.

This song reminds me of the times when i was young sitting by my bedside listening to cassette tapes during the christmas periods... awaiting for SANTA to come and hoping my parents will go to sleep early so I can get my presents.

oh my .. this song is just amazing .. u know this song is a 49 sec song in batman show and lasted for more than 10 years... gosh!!! good marketing strategy !

My Daddy used to sing this for me... Gosh !! I miss him singing this ! HE use to strum the guitar for me.

This song reminds me of a christmas caroling I did some many years ago.

As Much as this song brings back memories, I guess my godson have been slowly journeying with me to allow me to accept this song again. Thanks.

Saturday, December 18, 2010

Strength will rise as we wait upon the LORD

This is how the birth of Jesus Christ came about.
When his mother Mary was betrothed to Joseph,
but before they lived together,
she was found with child through the Holy Spirit.
Joseph her husband, since he was a righteous man,
yet unwilling to expose her to shame,
decided to divorce her quietly.
Such was his intention when, behold,
the angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said,
“Joseph, son of David,
do not be afraid to take Mary your wife into your home.
For it is through the Holy Spirit
that this child has been conceived in her.
She will bear a son and you are to name him Jesus,
because he will save his people from their sins.”
All this took place to fulfill
what the Lord had said through the prophet:

Behold, the virgin shall be with child and bear a son,
and they shall name him Emmanuel,

which means “God is with us.”
When Joseph awoke,
he did as the angel of the Lord had commanded him
and took his wife into his home.
He had no relations with her until she bore a son,
and he named him Jesus.

Have you ever ask about the mystery of Christ and his Coming? Do you often find loopholes in the Faith you "so called" believe in? Does it bothers why others still continue believing in this Faith but you can't? Well here is another.

As I reflected on this passage, I Recall the previous day's gospel reading that the Messiah was to be born from the lineage of King David. Hence it cannot be fulfilled by Mary, as in those times, ancestry is counted only through the Father. This is also incidentally no indication that Mary is of David's Line. So what happen than? Did something go wrong somewhere? Upon reflection I realized that All this happen through the power of the HOLY SPIRIT , indicating the divinity of Christ into the House of David. Coz at that time, there was no such thing as DNA or Test tube baby - the only 2 ways of getting a possible BOY is by (1) by solemn declaration that he adopts a son or (2) by marriage & consummation. Since Mary was a virgin, it is only but by the 1st way that Jesus becomes the son of David.

Sometimes Faith is not always about trying to link points to points in the bible but comprehending the Mystery and Power of the God so that it can withstand rigorous examinations and exploring the implication of that faith for all aspect of human life with your head and loving HIM more and more with your heart.

Dear God,

As I marvel at your awesomeness, teach me to reflect deeply into your word each day and spend time in peace and stillness, embracing your love and your wisdom. Your infinite power amazes me but yet puts me right where i belong - nothing but a creation of your love. Dearest Father as i cry out to you this day, I am tired, I can't go on, I do not know where to go, what to do & what more even what to say. It is only by your strength that I can go through this. Teach me , guide me and mould me to be your humble servant and instrument of Love. At times words of others hurts me, it pains me to even think of how to face them again, but God grant me the ability to forgive what others have done to me.


Your Daughter

"be still and know that I am God."

Friday, December 17, 2010

My Family - Welcome Everyone

Dear God,

Thank you for this day ! I have tons of fun with everyone around. Spending every single minute with them was a fun time. omg !

Your Daughter.

Thursday, December 16, 2010

Dear God,

Thanks for sending me such a sweet Godson, My Godson sang this for me ... it really was very sweet of him to sing this song & the lyrics really hit me very deeply.

I pray you’ll be our eyes
And watch us where we go
And help us to be wise
In times when we don’t know

Let this be our prayer
As we loose our way
Lead us to a place
Guide us with your grace
To a place where we’ll be safe

Your Daughter

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Dear God,

Have anyone ever asked who u are to them? ? What you made them for? Why are they on this earth ? what is their purpose? The words of Isaiah spoke to me. Right to the depths of my hearts answering the questions from within. Reading this passage helped me to be still and marvel at the ability of you that I call father. I recalled once someone asked me, Who is this God? How do we know if this God exist? This passage though an inspired writing of Prophet Isaiah, it still carries with it much weight of truth & we are all called to be open & listen to GOD.

In this passage Isaiah speaks of this God as the maker of tis earth that we are living in and he is not creating it to be wasted but to create it for living. We shall not have other Gods beside him- Why do you even want to have some other God when this guy here created everything so beautiful just for us. So wonderful and so nice for us to live.


Your Daughter

Is 45:6c-8, 18, 21c-25

I am the LORD, there is no other;
I form the light, and create the darkness,
I make well-being and create woe;
I, the LORD, do all these things.
Let justice descend, O heavens, like dew from above,
like gentle rain let the skies drop it down.
Let the earth open and salvation bud forth;
let justice also spring up!
I, the LORD, have created this.

For thus says the LORD,
The creator of the heavens,
who is God,
The designer and maker of the earth
who established it,
Not creating it to be a waste,
but designing it be lived in:
I am the LORD, and there is no other.

Who announced this from the beginning
and foretold it from of old?
Was it not I, the LORD,
besides whom there is no other God?
There is no just and saving God but me.

Turn to me and be safe,
all you ends of the earth,
for I am God; there is no other!
By myself I swear,
uttering my just decree
and my unalterable word:
To me every knee shall bend;
by me every tongue shall swear,
Saying, “Only in the LORD
are just deeds and power.
Before him in shame shall come
all who vent their anger against him.
In the LORD shall be the vindication and the glory
of all the descendants of Israel.”

Tuesday, December 14, 2010


I remember when I felt I was called by YOU , you are all I wanted. I owe this life to you. Till this very day, I do not know what your plans for me are, but I can truly say, you are still the one I love.

My dear friends, Have you ever felt that you have done someone wrong & you really want to apologies and seek forgiveness from HIM or HER? How did you feel while trying to seek forgiveness? Guilty? Sorry ? In order to make him or her happy, you don't mind putting down your pride & be a "clown" in front of her? How you ever experience it before?

Today is penitential service in church & as I sat in the pew awaiting my turn for confession, I was reflecting on my sins. The heavy weight of guilt overwhelm my heart and I really feel as though I have hurt a best friend. It is so pain that I was reluctant to even speak to anyone for that moment but to HIM whom I love.

Dear God,

This very day, I come to you with all humility. I am stripped off all my sins & i just want to come to you running & give you the biggest hug ever. Father, in 2000 I remember that very reconciliation with you I sat there for an hour just recalling your love & how merciful you really am. I had tears rolling down my face just putting my pride down at your feet.

Today's reconciliation was just the same. The ambience the mood. It was really solemn & meditative. I couldn't help but recall this love of yours. As I sat there & hear the words of Fr Mike, Like inspired words of wisdom, he reminded me - it is time to get back to my blog & get back in touch with you & spend the quiet times I use to have with you again. This would be my new year resolution to myself & I would make it a point to least spend 1 hour a day with you.

Your Daughter

Monday, December 06, 2010

Dear God,

Have you ever felt heavy at heart, something you have done has been very bad u dono what to do about it? Have you felt sorry that you have let someone down before?

Today I felt really bad. I felt I was v irresponsible to people under my charge. I should not have done the things I did. But somehow whatever you do wrong, be willing to admit to your faults. "Pride is the downfall of all mankind but humility is the uproar of an empire." I laid it down at your feet Lord, I did it. You taught me humility, u showed me. No matter how my friends told me it is not my fault, I still did this for you Lord.

God Grant me the serenity to accept the things i cannot change;
the courage to change the things i can ;
and the wisdom to know the difference.

I feel so small without you leading and guiding me.
Teach me how to be more like you.

Your Daughter

Sunday, December 05, 2010

Miracles in my life

You know how i always find that my life is full of unexpected fun, trills and adventure.
well this one led me in this steep jump. a deeper leap into my faith journey with him.
the last 7 days was the most thrilling rollar coaster ride.

It was quite a while back when I happen to stumble on this guy who was standing outside adoration room just before class. I walked up to him and chatted. He asked me questions which left me speechless (certainly he was quite happy to have left me dumb founded). Guess somehow in me, I wanted to help me and know answers for myself & i guess he was kinda God's way of Leading me to think more about God and his purpose for me.

For a couple of weeks I have asking searching for some answers. Until one point I tot to myself, Why am I searching so much when the answer in right smack in my face. HE IS THE ANSWER.
Sometimes In life am i wanting to find a logical explanation or a reason to challenge every single answer I have, refusing to be open to what he has for me. OF COZ, I STOPPED.

Things led up to confirmation camp where I had a closer chance to talk to him. I just couldn't coz it is not within my capabilities. I asked Fr Stan to talk to him. Still it was not what he wanted.

The next day, he said, probably this religion is not the one i want. That time I knew that it was not me who should be there for him. I needed someone else. That someone who is able to answer him. HE is non other than his own creator - GOD. During one session, when i was told to be still and call upon the Lord. I too did so. And He just said. "tell him to give me 1 more chance." but in my head i just said "HOW? and WHY ... since he has made up his mind?" than later a scene from NICK session came to me, the passion of Christ & I heard a soft voice from behind me say "coz I love HIM & u are my instrument." SO... reluctantly i got the message across to him. HE broke down at dinner .. didn't eat much for his meal but that night I stayed up just chatting with him and this time, I prayed before so it was so much more easier and i know HE was by my side trying to talk to him.

What i realise was that Somehow it came to a point where i was relying on my own strength to push on trying to help him. I broke down. I could not do so. But it was when I could let go and let God take place in me that I could move on.

Lesson learn "if only when we are willing to have More of him and less of us. Acknowledging that we are just to be his instrument, can his love be shown to everyone."

By that night he had 5 days to find out why he needs and want to be confirmed. I have been journeying with him for this 5 days seeing him grow & learn to love the people around him. He too has slowly broken down his " wall of defence " towards me, slowly he start to feel for things and not with his HEAD. I saw him change. Guess what just a day before confirmation I became his Godma. How in the world did this happen , I do not know. but this miracle boy has really taught me patience.

Thursday, December 02, 2010

Dear God,

Just another 3 days, I can count the no. of days. Excited to see them become your soldiers but yet I love them alot to let them go.
As I was listening to this song I realise it is not me but it is you who has the directions for them.

No matter how you come to them, you will be leading them & guiding them.

Your Daughter

Consuming Fire

Wednesday, December 01, 2010

Dear God

Confirmation is coming ...This means that time with them is called to an end. As I look through the pictures we took, I recalled the times I had with them. Tears filled my eyes as I recalled the times we had, the laughter in class outside and even the times we had sharing.
But God I know you are always with them. No matter how far they are, I will know you are with them ALWAYS.

Your Daughter

Thursday, November 25, 2010


Have you ever felt that sometimes what ever you do is always wrong in the eyes of others? that whatever you do is never good enough for the other?
Have you ever felt that what ever you say is never accepted?
You feel as though you are bad in every aspect of your life.
You feel as though you can't listen to instructions? You're being defiant.
Because of what they say, it hurts so deep that u feel you are a jurk or slut in your life.
and you feel that you were better off not being born?

I do or I did. I felt it for myself. Got in the way of my parents once again. I'm never good enough in their eyes, always the black sheep of the family. Calculative or jealousy as one may call it, I can never be better than my brother.
He can play his computer everyday, need not bother a bit about my life and things at home, but I have to.
He can work till 6+ and still need not fetch my dad around, but I have to rush home from work, fetch him around no matter what.
He can go to church at ungodly hours of the weekends, but I have to tag along with them.
He need not serve in church, but I would be questioned every single time when I would like to share my problems with them - I guess I would be better off without serving / sharing right?
Sometimes I really wonder, am I their child or am I better off not being in this world?

I heart was very painful as I sat in the adoration room alone. I remembered once a friend of mine asked me these questions and I replied him. "there is no bad person in this world, but only people who make bad decisions in their lives. Secondly, instructions and expectation differs from person to person, it is how it is executed. Lastly, who you are a gift from God, what you do is a gift to God." These words came to me & I held back my thoughts, each time when I go for a camp, serve in church, I would always get scolded for it. Is it me or is it the MR S.A.TAN trying his luck again?

The words of todays readings came to me:
"Blessed are those who have been called to the wedding feast of the Lamb"

Hey girl, you are called to be his instruments, his testimony, and if you can't even testify HIS love to your family, what more others. Why are u still upset? why are u still feeling so hurt? To be able to be a testimony of his love is an opportunity for u to spread his love.
Immediately, I stopped all these negative thoughts and picked up myself, to try to love all those who hurt me most. I SMS my parents, I said sorry. It took me great courage, great love to put down the pride I had and of coz i cried as I wrote this SMS realizing how Imperfect I am but still am given a family to love me..

Sunday, November 21, 2010

Sitting beneath this starry night,
Gazing upon the skies,
i see the stars you would - way up high,
recalling the moments and how time flies.

I miss the sound of your voice,
Your tender care and beautiful eyes.
I miss the places we had been,
and your love for me that i have seen.

Deep yearning from within,
your appearance, your call, you're everything.
but knowing that you're not coming,
harden my heart of longing.

Of the many people in this world,
our lives "8 dight" must take a swirl.
Time was never a factor.
Though short but memories last forever.

"If you love Him let him go"
I'll be your worst love if i don't
Tormenting it was but still I did,
Painful these times were till now it's been.

Time has almost come to say this big Goodbye,
to this longing of your return.
To the love that may be insignificant in your life.
to Keep this love locked up and tight.

Friday, November 19, 2010

Our School's DnD
... A wonderful night I had & my team Rockx !!!

Dono who this Actor is... but he looks good !

Angelina Jolie & Princess Diaries

OMG! he looks superb today... no short shorts, no weird tight pants... just nice suit ... he
Adam ... he is in Singapore!

The TA who will be there for me if my tech fails... can always count on him for help...
Don't this 2 hunks look gorgeous

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Dear God,

time is drawing closer & i am not sure if i am ready! I am not sure if the decisions I am going to make is Right or Not! But dear God help me.
I have been v confuse the past year but I know you have been there by my side walking with me.

Your daughter.

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

MAD rush !

Cramp school this week. had post exam activities in the day and study by night. Barely had time to breath. But somehow in the midst of all this i still found time for HIM - meeting him in the blessed sacrament and sharing with him my day.

Putting jiejie and my class as a combine class. Met this guy from her class, he was really cute - Dimples, Charismatic, optimistic, funny, objective and has a goal of what he intends to do in the future. Yes and certainly he Caught my attention in class. Hmm what was best, he wore his uniform to class - coming straight from work - which blew all the girls off... Every break time (5 days in a row) he would look at me and ask if I wanted to hang out. Unknowingly it has to be MACs - Centrepoint. Our classmates and jie would also come along. We would all hangout and chat till we loose track of time and than RUN back to class like some small kids in primary school. I certainly would agree that I treasured every single time I had with all of them. This is the last time (except graduation) I would be seeing them n I would miss them big time.

What's best! On the last day, he's a christian too and BINGO! All dots started to connect. You know how i always say that God has his weird sense of humour. He too probably has his minutes of randomness too. He would place people in your situations to tie you through difficult times. I was actually dreading to go for classes at night as it was really long and tiring. but somehow things took a turn as I was walking and lamenting on this day to God. I think he must have gotten really frustrated with me that he decided to play a prank - by putting Jie and my class tgt. Class seems more fun with him around. Before I slept that night, I had an sms from him saying:

"Trust in the LORD with all your heart

and lean not on your own understanding;

in all your ways acknowledge him,

and he will make your paths straight."

As though he knows what I am going through, I felt God's Presence around me. Of coz he is not the only one in class, I also met my classmates and miss them tons man! Life is so boring without someone whom u can talk on the same topic as you do. As for Nadia, I sure do hope she is alright. She has been going through a tough time in her life. Jie jie would bring Food to class, and when i am hungry she would also offer to share with me. I love this class. I shall stop here before my eyes start to tear.

Friday, October 22, 2010

Do you Trust me? Aladdin asked Princess Jasmine.
I always imagine my other half to be someone who can take me away from all the problems into another world where I need not fear nor worry. Surprisingly as I listen to this song today, it is just like how God is trying to talk to me.

"I can show you the world, shinning shimmering splendid"
It is as though HE is inviting me on a journey to see the world that he has in store for us. But all he ask of , is for us to trust in him. - that he will not do things to harm you but rather to help them grow. It may be easy to say, but when our faith is trialled and tested, it is never easy to say "yeah sure, why not."

"Tell me princess...."
I always tot of myself as HIS Princess, HIS Beloved one, HIS Baby & HIS Precious Child..... shhh not many people know except you! ;) As I ponder on the last 9 months in my life and all that went through, I knew for sure that HE was there by my side taking care of me like a child to a father - a king to his Princess.

"Soaring tumbling free wheeling through an endless diamond sky"
In order for HIM to show us the world he has for use, we too in our daily life, have our worries n problems, but yet as long as we trust in HIM, he will make it all possible for us.

The Chorus speaks of the "world" which HE has plan for us, NO Worries, No pain, No one to order us around, telling us where to do, what to do.

I failed my interview today at MARINE PARADE FAMILY SERVICE CENTRE. I was very sad, I didn't like tt feeling of failing, but as I went on to think in HIS POV, probably he has a bigger plan for me. Btw to make me feel comforted, The Interviewer , was not very humble (can't imagine her as my supervisior)

So sit back n enjoy this song !


I really truly enjoyed this time with the Brothers
I miss you all alot

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Ahhh ... Dear God,

Finally out of the entire week I gotta sit down w u n spend some time - on a bright wednesday afternoon. Not too hot not too cold , just right for me to walk to adoration room at DMC.
Everything is happening So fast - Catechist coordinator leaving , Catechist leaving. Letting only the couple of us to hold the fort.
What saddens me most is not the resignation of them but the spirit of service that wAs lost with it. I remember them once telling me , when u meet trouble or obstacle in ya life n while serving the church (ur people) don give up. But now when there is a problem, they just pack up n leave.

Sitting w u today was great , felt fidgety at first, but as I kept still I could just feel ur warm embracing me n your peace emcompAssing the whole of me. The warmth I missed. It's as though
-There is a longing in my heart somewhere for someone.
- The Absence n emptiness in there can b painful when revisited.
U know u have a super "horigible" sense of humour . U love to poke fun into my life as n when - just to test if I am ok or not right??
But I guess each time u do that u nv fail to assure me of your faithfulness to me. Your unconditional love n care for me even as u poke fun.
A beautiful messAge came in from someone I missed - the phrase in the SMS was a reminder of our constant call to always be faithful to you n not just looking at being successful. I guess in my life it is the same. It is not about how well our wounds r covered but how much we have faith n trust that by ya grace , we can one day walk again.

Dear god, I would like to pray for this beautiful friend of mine n all those out there who maybe stuggling - some way or another- in their fAith journey, that u will b there for them as they go through these times. I can't b there all the time but I know u will- coz I trust u will

Your daughter

Saturday, October 16, 2010

Dear God

Had a nice time in school today. Even though it was me alone in the control room. Coz I finally saw my sec 4 convocation
Not many school does tt but it's k .
The speeches from their form teachers reminded me of my graduation 10 years back n Sjc .
I suddenly remembered the last time I met the quacks n I went out w them ... It was last yr 2009 December at raffles city.
Tt was a memorable time indeed though n a Sudden nostalgia came over me n I SMS them.
I would like u to tc of the "quacks" n all those who were in my claSs in 2001.. N I also prayer tt u will bless all graduating classes that they treasure every moment w their friends n w teachers too ...

Your daughter

Friday, October 15, 2010

Dear God

Had a great time with my colleagues today.
We laugh n sang n talk rubbish. I am
Seriously glad to b able to have this bunch of friends.
Glad to have known them.

Spoke to uncle s . Now I'm feeling a little low .
He was so defensive. Why ? It seems like everything I am feeling n experiencing is my fault . I didn't do this , I should have done tt.
Maybe i should have, maybe it is my fault. I tried teaching I really tried but I hate the feeling of aggressiveness in class.
In all humility i accept it. He even say , "u have ego issues" oh my this really busted my day badly.

After today i learnt one thing God, each time I get push down, god I know u are trying to teach me something. More n more humility.

Today god, I would like to pray for a random student in class Armiruddin. I know he may not know u but I saw him sitting outside ehub today. He actually greeted me but most of all I know he has his issues which he is holding inside and I just pray that u would help him n watch over him.

Your Daughter

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Dear God,

Why do some people choose to b in a job they cant handle?
Just finish marking 2 classes today , was exhausting but fulfilling.
Was happy none failed
But dear god when speaking to some of my colleague, they we - sadistic
They wanted some students to fail , simply coz in class they rebel, challenge or even hate them
It is not coz they are weak in studies
Help them lord not to b so judgemental but to love these kids as u would .

Your daughter

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Dear God

My friend quit work ytd , so fast , I tot I could spend more time w her. But guide her as she make her choice of a next job
- to b more patient as u r
But she is really fun to b with , too bad the co. Treat her badly :-(
Why are some people just so insensitive to others feelings.?

Everything seems to b in a mess - I am going through what Nick n Daniel went through last year .
The non stop battle the endless mis communication. The I am listening n I am hearing u
But dear lord I know u were there w them at tt time. I know u were! Coz u take care of those I love most
Now is Paul n my turn
I sit in the canteen hoping time will pass slowly so that I can avoid all this
I pray tt thy will b done

Ya daughter

Tuesday, October 12, 2010


The gospel today reflects on the Pharisees being hypocrites. They seem to be always holy in front of people but at the back of it, extorting and hurting those that are not of the "Kind."

A simple yet profound passage. We are all invited to be sincere and honest in out dealings with people and to concentrate on the matters to the heart - not the external. Any thing that is done out of the heart, you need not fear judgement or punishment . Don't be like the Pharisee, hypocrites.

Monday, October 11, 2010

Dear God,

Today as i was preparing the cards for the confirmands, i would like to offer them up to you. Prepare them and let them be the warriors and soldiers of your army Lord.

Today was not an easy day to pass, I had a talk with Jac, she said many things - of coz being v frank to me. It hurts coz she said things that triggered the pain inside me. It is not her fault, she meant it well for me though & i know it would have been difficult for her to tell me. Guess I am too weak. Thank you for giving me such a big sister. But hope not everyday is a "talking session" u know how i do not like it. - it has been long since i had a talking session.

But I know you were there by my side. Whenever i am sad, I would be going to find my god children. I dono why but they just simply takes away all my problems and pain away. Later on, an angel brought me "Pallapop" icecream. Gosh ... if i did not tell u , it is my top of the list fav ice cream. It brought a smile on my face.

Your Daughter

Sunday, October 10, 2010

Dear God ,

Today's Gospel was on Gratitude. Somehow in mass, you told me to do a paraliturgy for my students but I asked you how ? You really listen don't you... I was suppose to give a session today. I was stunned coz it was so last min. But i remember what you said, "where 2 or 3 are gathered in my name there I will be." I know you were there by my side guiding me in what to say coz I simply cannot remember what I said.
I asked my class to write down things they would like to thank God for & times they have short changed God of his thanksgiving.
Dear God it is close to their confirmation. Can you please help them to see the importance of this Sacrament coz some of them are still struggling.

Your Daughter

Saturday, October 09, 2010

Dear God,

Just came back from PPC , nomination for PPC today, but dear God, I pray that U will be the one leading and guiding the decisions made. Not bias, but out of pure love and service to you.
Today Mummy came back too, we went to eat Fish & Co. together, whole family, it was fun to have brother, mum n dad tgt for meals. thank you for returning mummy safely to us. It must be really tiring to travel so far all the time. She came back with Crispy Creams. I love it. Mmmmm.

Your Daughter

Friday, October 08, 2010

Dear God,

You really answer prayers, received sms from someone that maybe confirmands are going for AYD. Not sure if it is true. but if it is , thank you for making miracles happen. Ally and Mike are having productions now Lord. Take care of them, I seldom see them any more but i know you are will. They seem happier with Y C people, I am happy for them.
Oh sorry i screw up a little at the paraliturgy today. couldn't put out the flame but instead it got bigger. Tot I was gonna burn my hand. scary!!!

Your Daughter

Thursday, October 07, 2010

Dear God,

I went club today, with john, drew, nat, josh, matt n me. Tim couldnt go in , I know he must be feeling sad can you be with him, but he was rather matured to go home straight without arguing .
It was so fun. but still i looked out for them. The songs were nice tt night. I recalling on the times i wen clubbing ... exciting things happen all the time
Thank you for not letting anything happen that night .. guess what I met michelle gomes & Ian there hehe... so funny ! guess they had fun too...

Your Daughter

Monday, October 04, 2010

Dear God,

Today is when all my students take their final year examinations & even the N level students.
Please be by their side & guide them. They must be really stress, I was whenever I have examinations.

Your Daughter

Saturday, October 02, 2010

Found this link on Paul's FB ... I love it ... God is this your way of saying to me, i don't make junk!

Friday, October 01, 2010

Dear God,

Today is Children's Day & I am still struggling with my work.
Bless all the children in this world that on this day they may be able to feel your love no matter where they are.
Bless my god son and god daughter too. It must be fun to be a kid, i wish i was still a kid too. Thank you for giving them to me. They can be mischievous at times - just like me - but they are still lovable.

Your Daughter.

Thursday, September 30, 2010

Dear God,

I went K box with my colleagues, I enjoy their company. I spoke to Angela my shi fu in school, wha! her lungs super power, she shout all the kids keep quiet. God it must not be easy to for her to handle our form class 3T1 but she is doing a great job. God help her not to give up, but to press on! I am no where compared to her in the class.
I hope you are listening , I dono if I should trust myself to hand up my work. Lecturer say 5000 words but i only wrote 4000. I dono what to do.

Your Daughter

Monday, September 20, 2010

Thank you for loving me

"No one who lights a lamp conceals it with a vessel
or sets it under a bed;
rather, he places it on a lampstand
so that those who enter may see the light.
For there is nothing hidden that will not become visible,
and nothing secret that will not be known and come to light."

Some one once told me , in order to lead n guide people , u will need to rely on HiS strength. In the few years that has passed me by, I am happy to have had these people around me to support me, sometimes when I am tired out , when i feel low. Sometimes it is really hard to be the light to someone, especially when you know that it is not their time.

In the passage above, I was reminded of the talents I have, & the gifts that God has so lovingly poured down upon me, It just makes me feel as though sometimes i am like this river being filled by a giant humongous fountain of love. Each time i choose to keep this love to myself , the fountain will flow in drops but when i give and give more, he continues to pour his un-weavering heart on me.

My Dad's Aunty passed on just yesterday, she was the first lady that I have known in my life that lived till 100 years old. Yep! But what i was more comforted to hear was when all her family members whom i met (FOR THE 1st TIME - in my entire 25 yrs) had said to me, "she has lead a good life." I couldn't help but tot to myself, how could someone so old, and frail have a good life? It was then that i realized, she has had, great great grand children all by her side & a whole bunch of people who came for her wake, wreaths and even a loving grand daughter who sang for the services at the void deck, and even a family constantly devoted to prayers. Though it was the first time i met them, they were all so sweet , so welcoming. - typical Eurasian - it runs in the blood. I also saw people who looked like me, hehe - similar facial features...

Today as i was on my way back from school, a couple of uncultured boys were taunting 2 girls, the girls kept quiet and they just bored the bus, and knowing that they didn't really felt comfortable to begin with. The commuters at the bus stop too felt uncomfortable but -being singaporeans - they minded their own business. Yes and I had to walk into their path. Of coz i was not spared, but being the ME I am, I hate (note i never use this words unless needed) people who pick on others who are weak. Well taunting begin. As I stood there, watching them, I asked God what should I do & this words came into mind

"Take care, then, how you hear.
To anyone who has, more will be given,
and from the one who has not,
even what he seems to have will be taken away."

Why should I stoop to their levels? and since i am their teacher more is expected of me, to teach them what is right. Ignoring is not all the time the best thing especially when you see them doing wrong. So as the 81 approached, i turned to them & told them "You guys should to respect your friends & teachers." I walked up & the EPIC moment was when i saw
1) as they were teasing me thinking i wouldn't react , I DID !
2) the laughter on their face were wiped off
3) the smile on the commuters face & the glare of disgust at them.

So as the bus drove off into the scene, I told my BEST FRIEND (GOD) thank you for accepting me who i am, giving me friends who care for me from within & loving me so much. As I gazed at the open land on the TPE expressway, i told GOD, Bless all those who have yet to learn & are searching for you , the ultimate love. (*ahem those that can't accept who i am)

Wednesday, September 15, 2010


Just had an injection today. Now feeling the aftermath of it. As I sit at the adoration room gazing on him, i realize that at times we can be really in sensitive.

Injection is never painless, just like how the needles pierces into our skin and the words coming so quickly out of your mouth pierces into our hearts.

Plunging the liquid into our body, is when the true hurts begin, so will our in-sensitive words hurt us from within spreading to all parts of our body.

When pulling the needle out, it is painless, just the same as our words - we are so often mindless

However Putting a cotton/plaster to cease the bleeding can never be the same as trying to heal a wound in the heart.

In the Overall process of Injection, one has to be mindful to be quick and painless, our words are also quick but mindless. But what can never be the same is the intesity of pain inflicted on someone can hurt a million times more than a simple injection that sometimes simple plaster / cotton wool can never cease the bleeding.