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Welcome to My World

This is somewhere I voice my feelings & thoughts.
Do respect my thoughts & refrain from unnecessary comments.

Thursday, December 31, 2009

“Every adversity , every failure, every heartache carries with it the seed on an equal or greater benefit.”

The last day of the year, a day you would love to spend with the one you love. I am , but missing some people , but I do hope they are doing well. Had loads of fun in ally house, but I guess when I was on the phone, I looked up at the sky & the one on the phone, “sigh! Tonight only have moon no stars!” & a common consensus was met, but I guess that statement made me think more, that no matter where I maybe or where I am , I would always be seeing the same side of the sky with those I love. It really comforts me & like an enlightenment, a sense of letting go overcame me. Unwilling as I have been, if someone or something is yours no matter what circumstances it could be, it is yours. Guess I learnt that to Love someone with all my heart but at the same time have him love me back in the same way or maybe even more. In addition , if u really love someone, let him go, attaining someone but unable to reach deep into his heart would only end up hurting both.

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

"don't try to be outstanding, don't try to be a success, don't try to do pictures for others to look at"

I am dead bored, sitting in front of my com, rushing my work out. the word count never seem to meet 3000 and I am pass my deadline I am upset, pissed & irritated. gosh I am like a walking time bomb. I want to break free! I am just sitting here venting my frustration over my stupid assignment. Bet i'll sure fail this module. I dono how to do at all I have no clue what I am doing with this module. Lost faith in myself, in doing well n i see my dist ... flew out of the window.
But on the sideline this is something I am feeling too - I wan to have you back, I don have the guts to say I don think it is right either, u made the choice, I should respect it. -- I feel so human!

Just saw ur sms, it was not only comforting but warm. Thanks for your support to me. I am grateful for having u.

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

"a pessimist is a man who thinks that a women are bad but an optimistic man hopes that they are"

Just finish a movie with daniel & all those that i love, I honestly see the great times we used to have & i missed it. look at the past photos we had taken tgt.
Somehow things seem to be so comforting , all the young ones that I love came today. I enjoyed their Presence so much. I know I had to be home studying but none the lease I wanted their company more. I stayed till 12 mn then went home.

Well met Fr yesterday regarding some stuff today, I saw a different side of him, not the playful, not the lame but the serious side. but I know it is then he has this side to him, the side that means business. Well somehow I am getting on pretty fine. Was in school today & I simply wanna work my ass off to stop myself from missing u. but I told myself, loving someone is to let him Go. if he returns he is mine to keep if not this is God's little dessert for me throughout our friendship.

Monday, December 28, 2009

Went for mass this evening after meeting with Fr Aloy, and the reading today talks about Fear coming from King Herod. Through out the mass i tot to myself remembering someone once whispered to me when i was scared
"be not afraid! God will nv give you a cross too heavy for you to carry."
-- dono if he still remembers?

Had a great game of badminton. But woke up this afternoon with an injured right leg but I still dragged myself to play. To me, I am in form today "so i tot"
I channelled all my energy to focus on badminton.
I love the games. hmm strangely enough I love the games which I played with Fr Aloy, trashing carmen & josh.. opps. Not coz we trash them (partly mayb) but coz strangely enough, I kinda feel as though Father knows what is troubling me (doubt he knows) & each time he give out this snigger that sends me bursting out into laughter.

Was wondering how you were doing today . It was raining just hoping you kept warm.

"Love involves a perculiar unfathomable combination of understanding and misunderstanding"

another borrowed time from God on Saturday
we went looking for your HP - seeing the smile on ya face when you got ya HP
a priceless yet memorable one!

I woke up today, knowing it is all over ,

i know i cannot pull through all this on my own.

I wish i could have you by my side to help me.

I played all the christian songs I have in my playlist. for the 1st time in my life i am looking for God so much, hoping he is standing somewhere in my songs.

I am learning to live without you by my side, something that is practically impossible,

I am trying.

I started opening my books and studying.

Sunday, December 27, 2009

" the best index to a person's character is how he treats people who can't do him any good and how he treats people who can't fight back "

As fearful as I mayb of what lies in store for in next year I hold firm to this statement as to me, no matter who you are or what you want from me, I just have 1 God I have to answer to and 1 God I have to serve.

Saturday, December 26, 2009

" When I dare to be powerful -- to use my strength in the service of my vision (feed HIS lamb) then it becomes less and less important whether I am afraid or not

Saw a deployment list , My heart sank, I started going mad (crazy) , I left Daniel's house, went to find Nick, who is not v far away from me. Gosh ! Guess he is one who will be willing to listen & comfort me & even calm me down, & soon I am gonna miss him more.
For all you done for me through out this 2 years Nick, Letting you go is the hardest thing that I would need to do. *sigh*

Friday, December 25, 2009

"it is better to live your own destiny imperfectly then to live an imitation of someone else's life with perfection "

My Niece & nephew exploiting my comfy bed !
look at her face when she just woke up !! awwwww so cute

I do not want to live in any one's shadow. I want to walk with you all , not in your shadows.

Thursday, December 24, 2009

Christmas Eve & Shelock Holmes

I guess this is like kinda the last time we are gonna have lunch tgt.
I have been asking for many many borrowed time from God.
We had a great lunch & many things we found out about each other
"smile a little smile for me"
A15 & A14

Lee Hwa Jewellery, looking for my crucifix! Thanks for the present.
It is something really heavy for me to carry
Merry Christmas & a Blessed New Year !!

my dears 1988 batch - except nick & me
Fr Aloy & TOL
Our FAmily of TOL - not complete yet many people away
our last few pics with Nick
TOL christmas pic tgt

My Jedi Master
Daniel , Manfred & Me
Mitch & Me - every so glam
Boy boy & Me

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Life's A STAGE ! Farewell Nick ! we'll always remember you

Avatar 3D
TOL Group Pic :)

Monday, December 21, 2009

" formal education will make you a living; self education will make you a fortune"

Sometimes I sit back and think of what this means, why am i studying so much but yet the world judges you still base on ya education? this is so reality check. At times I look at the world above & envy those above. you do not need all this paper to do well up there.

Sunday, December 20, 2009

" Great minds discuss ideas, Average minds discuss events. Small minds discuss ideas "

We were at a meeting today, I do not understand why they kept picking on people.
at 1st I was ready to jump but later as I sat there reading this message,
I started to smile to myself.
I sms Nick the message & to me I acknowledge the problems they see, however I know my babies well enough.
I know who they are, what they are going through, I love them just the way God sent them to me.
This is church , we accept everyone, no matter what race, colour, or even past you had, we should not judge right. So why r u judging my kids?

Saturday, December 19, 2009

"don't let your life pass you by , weep not for the memories"

I dono why am i blogging,
I am not sure what to say
but all i can say GOD has his own sense of humour
all we have been through tgt, is it just a goodbye away?
I will be strong from now on, living alone, life without you physically there.
but I will remember you !

Somehow God loves to teach me detachment the hardest ways. Last time & now you are the 3rd. But I will always keep you in prayer

Friday, December 18, 2009

"if we had no winter, spring would not be so pleasant:
if we did not sometimes taste adversity, prosperity would not be so welcome"

Maybe in work, I climbed from where I am, & In church I am where I am today coz I have tasted what is it like to do things the wrong way, Experience is the master of all teachers. Even TOL, I am who I am coz we have went through rubbish , shit & nonsense together. Our family stays strong. No matter what happens we are a family. Family goes through thick and thin.

Thursday, December 17, 2009

" knowing what you cannot do is more important than knowing what you can do. - in fact that is good taste"

I'm God's "work in progress" pls be patient with me. I know I what I can do. I know I can make you happier, I know I can do many things if i want to. At the same time, I am knowing what I cannot do too. With you, I am growing, learning & maturing. Thanks

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

"Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep"

I have made many mistakes in life. Each life experience I have I turned it to the best & help those who needs me. I am not perfect , God's still "work in progress" with me. But i know that I will be his precious Gem no matter which day of my life!

Life's a Stage !!

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

"no matter who says what, you should accept it with a smile and do your own work" - Mother Teresa

a Statement I feel for. NO matter how we feel for some incidents that has passed us by, we should just "smile a little smile for HIM" Gosh! am i getting the Nick syndrome, I becoming very accommodating with this happening & standing up for what I think is not right. Is it good or bad? becoming more like your adult advisor

Monday, December 14, 2009

" when we speak, we are afraid our words will not be heard or welcome,
but when we are silent , we are still afraid. So it is better to speak."

I guess being with you for this few years, I have learnt the above statement.
I am enjoying my hols, being out with friends, latenights, etc
honestly i like this life, Thank you God.
Though things sometimes are not smooth but I try to make the best out of everytime I have

Sunday, December 13, 2009

After a long day today from confirmation mass, I took a look at a friends blog and I saw a phrase really attracted me

"Trust entails complete surrender of my expectations and wants.
I can't claim to trust God but only by my own terms and fancies.
Trusting God means letting Him do pretty much whatever He wants, even if they seem to cause me much inconvenience, hardship and suffering, yet believing fully in faith that He means only to prosper me and not to harm me, means only to love me and do what's best for me, even if I can't seem to see how it works out until much much later, or never at all. "

The above experience also taught me to learn how to praise God even when things don't go the way we want them to, even at the most inconvenient and unbearable of times, and to learn how to let God be God, and not try to teach God how to be God.

It is funny how God works Seriously

Saturday, December 12, 2009

"your words are bricks and mortar of the dreams you want to realize"

Sitting downstairs my house writing letters for my precious kids.
Just being there and writting, I just wondered to myself, this has always been a great tot I have to be with someone just doing things tgt. - isn't this what friendship / relationship is all about?

Friday, December 11, 2009

"there are 2 ways of spreading light, to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it"

as much as you ask yourself or question your direction in life, so am I
I hate to say this but I guess life is full of choices
When you make a decision, bravely walk down the road.
Don look back and regret
I really don wan to regret what I am doing too.

Thursday, December 10, 2009

" the best index to a person's character is how he treats people who can't do him any good and how he treats people who can't fight back "

Dear friend
I told u something that I kept inside
I don wan u to be affected
I am sorry I kept it for so long
I am sorry if it hurts
I will leave you alone
I will give you your space
I hate myself for hurting you
but I still care about you
I should not have said it
I should not have done it
I blame myself for all this feeling
I just want to treasure every time with you
I don wan any quarrel
I don wan any argument
U say i do not know you but I totally understand how you feel
I just wan this friendship to last
If i could turn back time I would not have said it at all
I am sorry
I will leave you alone

Do you know how I feel?
I feel sad .. seeing the way you are
I feel hurt .. knowing you are hurt
I feel bad ... telling you the things I shouldn't have
I feel evil ... I know it is satan behind this
I feel lonely, neglected, unknown by you ...
I just wan .. U to be happy & that is all that matters
Seeing you like this is not making me Happy
I just wan to cherish every moment & time

Wednesday, December 09, 2009

Slacking at starbucks
Nick n me
Let me give you some light Nick.... for your HP

Movie appreciation

Tuesday, December 08, 2009

Today is a day back from camp .. haha did not even sleep a bit this very day ! I went out and chill the very next day !! gosh I am so enjoying the holidays i have!
I love the company. I enjoyed every little time with you .
Went for breakfast then came back!
Very soon we will have to part our own ways. I will miss you for sure.
I realize i will not sulk over you leaving but I will make it the best for you !
Every bit of it happy memories
:) Later that day we went ben and jerry to eat, bring back memories & I realise you just overpower all those bad memories already.

Thursday, December 03, 2009

Guess this day has been a rough day for me
went to school to do work wanted to leave early but could not
Had to finish up what I needed to do & in addition think of publicity for TOL
Later on mum & Dad came to pick me home. They were here late but it is ok with me but when I got home had a earful from them & didn't even feel like I am being part of the Family at all.
Felt really sad and lost & they did not send me to Macs for meeting. I took a cab there.
I found out the young darlings are gonna be late.
When they came, I was happy to see all of them. I miss them all the times and fun we had.
Guess time has passed so fast that we hardly realized.
Had a trashing out session at macs but I really found it worth my time coz i really wanna hear what they had to say.

Wanted some quiet time on my own. I wanted to go home but I looked back at the argument today I do not wan to go back at all. Look at the others they are all tired. I donno what to do where to go. I sat at my void deck for about 2 hours before I knew for sure mum & dad were asleep.
But when I opened the door, someone from the inside opened for me. guess who it was?
yeah he was waiting for me to come back. Tot I would get a earful again but not we did not say a thing but he just said, "hi! so late alr go sleep!"

I guess this is what family is all about, we fight, we argue, we share good times , we share the bad times too & at times we do not know why mum and dad wants us to do things but we just do coz we are afraid if we do not do they will scold. But when we grow up we start to realise what they did for us was for our good. At times when even brother is not around, it is the best time I can bond with Dad & Mum coz the attention I get from them is double then when I am with brother. The more I share with Dad & Mum about my problems, the more they know me. My own family is a pure example of the unconditional love.

Saturday, November 28, 2009

Friday, November 27, 2009

HAd a wonderful time out at expo just now.. didn't buy much things but just had fun with the company.
today he celebrating his birthday so Paul n I sitting in the house while he roast and bbq downstairs

Thursday, November 26, 2009

I had fun today ... spend the entire time with carmen!! guess all this time I always have fun with her.. spend the whole of last night talking with her under the block!!
Shopping at expo with carmen !!
bought alot of things
hmm hope she likes it .. but most of the company was great

went for Adoration
Quiet time was good just needed time to reconnect with God.
Later Drove down to find Carmen, but it was too late , they have gone in already.
Anyways it was fun talking to them from a glass
Hope they will have a fun time and a safe trip overseas!!!
Colin n Carmen , Take care !

Tuesday, November 24, 2009


Monday, November 23, 2009

Long since i really sat down to blog.
Many things just happened in a span of 2 months
Last i remembered was I crashed my hard disk on the floor
All my pic, Music and everything GONE!!!!

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

I Miss those times together.. crey and Aniqah ..hope you all doing fine!!

I remember most clearly this time at furama riverfront hotel
My department photos

Thursday, August 13, 2009

when i look at myself today, it is not right at all
I feel sad
I feel lonely
i feel lost
My friend / colleague has just left
Things are gonna change
Right now on class 95 singing 1 thing 2 do 3 words 4 you
i dono why somehow it is me that i hate that feeling
Not really nice feeling
I am so gonna miss him
But I am leaving soon too
Ha ha why coz I found a better job a better study opp
I wanna hit my books ~ !

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Why? Am i just so "suanable" nice to be made fun of? I dono. Greg says deep within us we enjoy but i don think i am enjoying it

Friday, June 12, 2009

its late in the night n i do not know why i am up so late in camp
i should be sleeping soon
but well i am bothered
v bothered ... today vp said wanna support me in my application for AED
i am like.. shit ... gooood
I am also worried.. i wanna teach but what about my friends.. i will so miss them
i played a little game with Taqi today. treasure hunt
he's quite good at it ... wrote something and ask him go find.. well actually it is not v big but just left a note for him...
i guess i m falling sick soon.
sneezing for pass 1 hr ... die...

Thursday, June 11, 2009

i have a 7 days holiday but a bit resistant to go for it... i so am going miss the fun and laughter we are having now.. Seeing the crazy times .. thank god it is only a few days.. but somehow i am sure this week is so uncertain.. Am i given the contract? will i take on AED ? will u all b around when i return !! i am so uncertain.. I don feel at ease going for break!!! I got camp this week !! gosh ... i am so excited but at the same time un certain. :(

Wednesday, June 03, 2009

Work is not an easy thing to juggle work and play is even not easy.. but somehow i am just doing it v well... Though at times i really miss the crazy fun times i had last time but i guess these times are not too bad!!

Tuesday, June 02, 2009

had a great time today went out with Taqi, Ismail, Aniqah & Crey & of coz the whole EAS team ... went makan and bowling then later head home after settling somethings Well I guess I really would miss you guys if i really leave. and in the event you leave, lets not throw this friendship out of the way. Seriously thinking of staying 1) company of friends 2) students whom i seen grown up since i 1st came

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

I am lost .. somewhere i am lost! God pls guide me Lead me to what to do How to live like you lived and how to be your instrument
i am blank out zone off.. not coz i am tired. coz i am in tears. I am scared. Scared of loosing my love one. I just returned from hospital. Uncle was gasping for breath with each breath it gets harder and more painful God be there with him when you take him from here. I will miss him for all he's done. When i held his hand just now i prayed over him. In tongues and god grant me the healing i needed for him.

PS: I wan to say thanks to Taqi. It was not for you I wouldn't b in TTSH so fast. When i met uncle he's in a still stage.. eyes staring straight at me but no reaction and when i left his side he closed his eyes

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

looking at the past it hurts! Looking to the future of uncertainty I dono Where do I go Why are all questions which i am searching for unknown ? I wan to care for you but i dono how ! I Dono what i do is it right or wrong My friends keep telling me to care no matter what the situations I am in now but how? Show me if you really care. Don leave me all alone I'll be scared.

Monday, May 25, 2009

School has been fun this few days.. times are busy but the company is great! thanks taqi, ismail n crey for the wonderful company. without you guys I'll be bored. Script script script what am i suppose to do? I think and ask question and write I just want to do the best .. is my best not enough? Teach me let me learn don thrown me down I wanna grow

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

feels great to b up here !! back at my seat!! honestly feel bad imposing on people.. but it was great company ! today last lesson for MLP this year !! gosh i am so gonna miss my sec 2s Express! sometimes i just wonder why am i in such a cross road.. i dono where to walk.. friends are doing any help.. work is pack to core! gosh and muy application all rejected.. what the hack am i to do?

Sunday, May 17, 2009

I don like to be alone without all my friends and family. I so miss alot of you all Things seem so different now Everyone of us seem to be caught up in work or school should meet up one of these days

NYP , SJC , IHMbabes , IHM TOL. John n Andrew , all of you I so miss you all

Just finish rehearsal for music; it need loads of practice but i know one thing they are doing their best .. i nv question their talents and skills .. just prob need to jam more tgt.

Friday, May 15, 2009

Went out today the whole day i am out.. gosh broke record.. I have been out since 8 am Went for Sayadi's wedding & enjoyed myself .. the colours matched really well and i like the feel of it.. very morden and good .. Whao today photo taking spree man!! Just got a new D90 and Ismail Taqi n me exploring how to use it.. Found wireless and then later played with it talking to gabriel. I had a lot of fun today when i went rehearsal too. Hey being producer not an easy job .. coordinate alot of things. I so need support from my friends. lights, sound, photography, drama, music, choir, costumes, makeup, props. --> every wondered why I am placed here ? but i know one thing I can and i will overcome it. No matter how tough it is gonna be I know I will Dears pls give me support. I need you all ..my darlings, I miss those times we had but I m happy that you are all back to be there for me n help out

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday to John Boy
Happy birthday to you

Dearest kor you have always been there for me and on this day may you enjoy the love and presence from all around you not sure if we will meet anytime soon. but truely i miss you alot .. Work is stretching us thin!!!

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

had a wonderful time in school today I really find a reason to be in the school. in fact 1 is not enough i have so much attachment in here. I enjoy the family here ! I am so gonna miss all this Thanks bros for being there for me to chat n company when i needed someone there for me in school. A shoulder to lean on a hand to pull me up when i needed support

Tuesday, May 05, 2009

everyone is so frantic over the H1N1 virus. Hey guys please be careful esp for those who work v closely to patients. Anyways today was kinda a funny day .. met my friend at Taqi hmm chat and talked about some stuff It is totally random and out of the box.. ask him some personal things and well told him about what happened to me for the pass 2 weeks and when he gave me that shocked faced I was kinda shocked too. :) Thanks for being there to cheer me up in school

Happy birthday Augustine Boy!!

Friday, May 01, 2009

just came back from the wake of Alvin's Mum. Didnt get to talk much to him .. Kinda bothering me of what kind of sister I am .. Whatever my brothers are going through now I can't help at all.. I so miss those days when I was younger and I could spend more time with you all seriously if i could turn back time I would just say .. My most memorable times are growing up with you all. but too bad I am working now

Sunday, April 26, 2009

today went to nick's grandma's wake.. i soo realise one thing, nick i am taking after you in so many things. Things i do i think and my thoughts. Things i look out for in the youth group n as a leader. Thank you for staying by me all the time. when i need you but hey dear we will stand by you too.
wednesday date with you coffee bean evening k bishan
Just finish meeting with Son , Joan n Yvonne. It was a fun time. I so remember who Yvonne is coz she was my good friends adopted sister. Anyways we decisided on the few songs for rally. It was great and fun choosing the song. To be able to reach out and touch the youths of today and our future of tomorrow
Bear ye one another's burdens, and so fulfil the law of Christ.
2 Corinthians 11:29

A verse i stumbled on while surfing the net
Dear Nick I know you very Man ! always like to hold things to yourself
We're a family bro ! and what are family for . we'll b by your side praying and supporting you
We know nothing much we can do but PRESENCE
Everything happens for a reason and I am sure He has things in control. I trust that Big guy up there!

Saturday, April 25, 2009

today kinda great day for me
I was out with my darling
he bought me PADDLES
hmm a great little animal that is sooo cute.. yellow in colour and i actually lies it since v long ago
me wanted to go buy photo print than thought maybe not .. printing of photos need not b so urgent.. so tot of saving for my mac!
hope i can get discount.. Pat .. !! help me ok !

Friday, April 24, 2009

sitting in school well guess someone started to talk to me.. hmm just finish the class and well i do hope our friendship will continue for long .. but let's pray hard !!!students doesnt not mean cannot be friends !!! Just help another do up his blog.. haha quite nice i like it in fact..

Monday, April 13, 2009

Hey bro.. no entry to who / no entry to guys only huh >??
Happy birthday gabriel.. knowing you is the best thing that ever happen this year.. great working tgt

Friday, April 10, 2009

As usual our informal dressing .. up with costumes and make up!!! guys you look great!!!

Our Second Pic together !! Fr Luke thank you for always being there for our Group!!!
You Rock ~ hmm lameness getting to you !
All the cast n crew of Passion play 2009 !!! Fun Fun Time
Great job everyone

Monday, February 23, 2009

Media Literacy Programme has been fun for me ..
It is fun and students get to learn many things
Microsoft office - Excel, PPT, Words & Publisher, Popfly too
Today lesson is on blogging learnt how to make blogs & have fun making it
I have always thought it was easy to create a blog from scratch but nooooo it is not at all

Sunday, January 11, 2009

Whao so fast things are passing me.. but well before you know it .. CNY is coming
Well anyways Just wanna say today was so great, a day just out with you and me alone. Our special time together , eating drinking and having fun joking around. I realli miss all that .. but more so happy that we do things tgt ..

I just thought to myself as i was with you , if we did not do things together, play and even organise things, would things turn out like this. we would prob last a while and have nothing to say to each other. Dear dear, Thank you for loving me so much and i truely wanna see u n me till our lives very end

Friday, January 09, 2009

Card Captor Sakura Vs Indiana Jones

Pirates Attack - YEAH!!! indiana Jones to the rescue

Girl Power

Our YM 2009 - Thanks Giving Dinner

Thursday, January 08, 2009

Whao busy but enjoying single part of life

just now just finish meeting with YM leaders now we head down for meeting pt 2...
Looking and judging from what we have this year.. guys you all are going to so enjoy this years sessions

Well kinda Shag out so going to hit my bed.. but do hope everyone of you out there will enjoy the weekend ahead.. take things at your own stride, don be too hard on your self

I'll be there if you all need me.

Sunday, January 04, 2009

Does any one know why we celebrate this christmas day?

Lets Just take a step back and think about it shall we... CHRIST mas (MAS = Master And Saviour)

Saturday, January 03, 2009

Its the beginning of school life and people say that they are always in a hectic mad rush, I guess this year is different for me . With a aim , goal and what i want in life.. hmm no no not at all hectic. Well people without aims in life lose track of themselves and often find themself trap in a circle of maze, are you one of them?

What is taking you so long to find that aim in your life? Well there is always 1 person who can be the reason you are living each day for.. who is he.. my big daddy .. GOD!

Thank you for everything dear God, always there for me.

Friday, January 02, 2009

Soooo sweet hor.. hahah !!! hey you two ... treasure all the time you all have when you all are young.. :) I'll always be there for you.