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Saturday, January 19, 2008

just received news my aunty has left this worl d
she has gone away from us
i am on my bed just now about to turn in for the night
my dad told me he was in the hospital and my aunty had died.
I stood there frozen .. things and images flashed before me
icould not move
i didnt say aword
i said nothing
i am dumb founded
i eyes grew teary
i cried and cried
oh my this is the 1st time i just cried so much
why must she leave us
why is gone
why now
why so fast
where is going
would it be a happy place
she is not a christian
where is she going
is she happy
so many questions so little answer
i waited for my brother and parents to return
i cried till i had no voice
i am lost dono what to do
i sat on my chair
stared into space
flashes of scenes from the past came before me
i just missed her
so so badly.. things she did and said to me when she was around.

i didnte wanna talk i wanna cry i wanna stay in my room and cry out load
When my parents came home, they told me.. my aunty accepted Christ before she died
she would be having a christian service
i am so happy for her.. coz i know she is safe.. somewhere that she is DEFINITELY happy co i trust GOD the one who created me and my love ones and all around me..
i think the whole night, i just tot and tot what can i do for her
what can i give to her for her funeral.

Her last words to me wheni last visited her.
"ah girl, zhang da le, siu liao! di si gao yin?"
(Ah girl, grown up, pretty already! when getting married )
my last gift to her was a can of pepsi and a stalk of flower @ her hospital

Oh my i am so missing her, now even as i write and type my thoughts out
"ah yi, i know you are in a better place now ! i more happier place
a place where there's no suffering and pain.
U have done al you can this lifetime
you made a milestone in your lifetime.
Its time for you to go home to Him."

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