Hi There! Welcome to Erica's Blog!!

Welcome to My World

This is somewhere I voice my feelings & thoughts.
Do respect my thoughts & refrain from unnecessary comments.

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

2 pony tail!!! does she look like me when i was younger?


hahah murder the pig!!! welcome the rat!
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My sister and me .. busy mattt!!!!

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Matt me and Mei

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screwed up people
screwed up system
what the hell lor
i don like this place
it totally sucks
omg ! i really wish all you people go to hell
no wonder mei say she doesnt like you all
i don like too
you think you all big mean you can push over
a mistake must blow things out of propotion
go fly kite man
i will nv like this school
if not for meimei
if not for anthony
i would have left this place
you guys go fly kite man!
think you darn big eh!
i don like your system
i don like your politics
i don like your gossips
i don like your face either

Monday, January 28, 2008

i'm not angry
just disappointed
just sad

no comments for this day
just know one thing
Make every move you make a Christ
- like and God Centred one!

i love you all too much to be angry with you
but i guess least an honesty with me ba!

Sunday, January 27, 2008

Worthy is the Lamb

Thank you for the cross Lord
Thank you for the price You paid
Bearing all my sin and shame
In love You came
And gave amazing grace

Thank you for this love Lord
Thank you for the nail pierced hands
Washed me in Your cleansing flow
Now all I know
Your forgiveness and embrace

Worthy is the Lamb
Seated on the throne
Crown You now with many crowns
You reign victorious
High and lifted up
Jesus Son of God
The Darling of Heaven crucified
Worthy is the Lamb
Worthy is the Lamb

Saturday, January 26, 2008

Carpenters : I'll never fall in love again

What do you get when you fall in love?
A guy with a pin to burst your bubble
That's what you get for all your trouble.
I'll never fall in love again.
I'll never fall in love again.
What do you get when you kiss a guy?
You get enough germs to catch pneumonia.
After you do, he'll never phone you.
I'll never fall in love again.
I'll never fall in love again.
Don't tell me what is all about,
'Cause I've been there and I'm glad I'm out,
Out of those chains, those chains that bind you
That is why I'm here to remind you
What do you get when you fall in love?
You get enough tears to fill an ocean
That's what you get for your devotion.
I'll never fall in love again.
I'll never fall in love again.
What do you get when you fall in love?
You only get lies and pain and sorrow.
So, for at least until tomorrow,
I'll never fall in love again!
I'll never fall in love again!

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

today i started this day with bad headache.
i had a dream ,
ah yi came to me
she said byebye girl
i am going
the light of the sky was so blinding when i woke up
i had headache

when pushing the van off .. i looked into the sky i saw a heart shaped cloud that detached from all othr cloudes and it was like a heart that sade.. i love you / with love from ah yi! i saw it.. so beautiful!
at crematorium, i told myself this statement.
Ah yi! for all you done, i am sending you this journey with a smile
i will watch you go in with a smile! coz i know you will be there watching over al those you hold dear to.
i went home
i couldnt tahan, i think i fell sick, emotional stress wanted to puke.
than later stopped by the roadside get plastic bag and keep it rready for puking.
actually hungry than went home eat and sleep .. better after that

ate porridge, with toufu, omg this is supper nice..
than later wen t to zouk
had fun there
well like i told my kakis what happends in there is in there.
well i just said i had fun with you bros.
drinks, nonsense, fun and joy, omg you nade i had it.. FUN
i celebrate coz i knowshe is up there.. she is watching over me! coz for the release from earthly suffering !!! you rock man Ah yi!

Monday, January 21, 2008

2nd day since ah yi left, i am sad
i am in tears, but i know my mum is more sad than anyone else, i cant cry
i must be strong, for my love ones yes i must be strong
mumy crying she is sad, she is destroyed but i can see this day coming .. a miracle lady who pass through cancer after cancer going through the fires of death and fighting all these sickness to her death.

"i love you so much ah yi! mummy too
you spend so much time with her and she being the 2nd youngest in the family, you love mum alot, and you took care . in the hospital, you always ask for mum when you are sick, i will never forget the times when you were in a coma, i held your hand and said a little prayer for you, i told God to wake you up and so that you will see all your family members and be with them and those whom you treasure most in your lifetime."

Sunday, January 20, 2008

i went to church . i told myself, i will be strong, i will not cry,
i dono why all songs seem to so go my way ..
all the same songs sang at colin's funeral and now portraying my feelings and emotions!

Lord I Offer My Life
All that I am, all that I have I lay them down before you, oh Lord
All my regrets, all my acclaims
The joy and the pain, I'm making them yours

[Chorus:] Lord, I offer my life to you Everything I've been through Use it for your glory Lord I offer my days to you Lifting my praise to you As a pleasing sacrifice Lord I offer you my life

[Verse 2:] Things in the past, things yet unseen Wishes and dreams that are yet to come true All of my heart, alll of my praise My heart and my hands are lifted to you

My All In All
Verse 1
G D Em
You are my strength when I am weak
You are the treasure that I seek,
You are my All in All;
G D Em
Seeking You as a precious jewel,
Lord to give up I'd be a fool,
You are my All in All.

G D Em G-D-C G D G D
Jesus, Lamb of God, worthy is Your Name,
G D Em G-D-C G D G
Jesus, Lamb of God, worthy is Your Name.

Verse 2
G D Em
Takin my sin my cross my shame,
Rising again I bless Your name,
You are my All in All,
G D Em
When I fall down You pick me up,
When I am dry You fill my cup,
You are my All in All.

this song truely speaks of him being my everything and i leaving everything to him . People ask how much do i trust him? i do trust .. alot. i place all my hopes in him that i know he will take care of ah yi till we meet once again in heaven.

today is the 1st day of Ah yi's funeral
i met my cousins all there, as usual, see so many people i nv see before. very quiet day. tomolo wil be more ba! well just know one thing i treasure my family alo. they mean alot to me. i wan them all to be happy
Saw ah yi in the coffin, she was smiling . she was happy. and this kept me thinking. why should i be sad. she is up there. a place where she need not get needles poking her, pain and suffering all this shit she suffered in her lifetime.
I'll miss her coz she means alot to me, even to kor and jie but i know she is happy!
"ah yi, we'll meet again when my time is up. but in the mean time i miss you !"

did up a book for ah yi, prob to be kept with jie and kor ba! will pass to them when last day at cremitorium! hope you will like it

Saturday, January 19, 2008

just received news my aunty has left this worl d
she has gone away from us
i am on my bed just now about to turn in for the night
my dad told me he was in the hospital and my aunty had died.
I stood there frozen .. things and images flashed before me
icould not move
i didnt say aword
i said nothing
i am dumb founded
i eyes grew teary
i cried and cried
oh my this is the 1st time i just cried so much
why must she leave us
why is gone
why now
why so fast
where is going
would it be a happy place
she is not a christian
where is she going
is she happy
so many questions so little answer
i waited for my brother and parents to return
i cried till i had no voice
i am lost dono what to do
i sat on my chair
stared into space
flashes of scenes from the past came before me
i just missed her
so so badly.. things she did and said to me when she was around.

i didnte wanna talk i wanna cry i wanna stay in my room and cry out load
When my parents came home, they told me.. my aunty accepted Christ before she died
she would be having a christian service
i am so happy for her.. coz i know she is safe.. somewhere that she is DEFINITELY happy co i trust GOD the one who created me and my love ones and all around me..
i think the whole night, i just tot and tot what can i do for her
what can i give to her for her funeral.

Her last words to me wheni last visited her.
"ah girl, zhang da le, siu liao! di si gao yin?"
(Ah girl, grown up, pretty already! when getting married )
my last gift to her was a can of pepsi and a stalk of flower @ her hospital

Oh my i am so missing her, now even as i write and type my thoughts out
"ah yi, i know you are in a better place now ! i more happier place
a place where there's no suffering and pain.
U have done al you can this lifetime
you made a milestone in your lifetime.
Its time for you to go home to Him."

Friday, January 11, 2008

You who dwell in the shelter of the Lord,
Who abide in His shadow for life,
Say to the Lord, "My Refuge,My Rock in Whom I trust."
And He will raise you up on eagle's wings,
Bear you on the breath of dawn,
Make you to shine like the sun,
And hold you in the palm of His Hand.

The snare of the fowler will never capture you,
And famine will bring you no fear;
Under His Wings your refuge,
His faithfulness your shield.

And He will raise you up on eagle's wings,
Bear you on the breath of dawn,
Make you to shine like the sun,
And hold you in the palm of His Hand.

You need not fear the terror of the night,
Nor the arrow that flies by day,
Though thousands fall about you,
Near you it shall not come.

And He will raise you up on eagle's wings,
Bear you on the breath of dawn,
Make you to shine like the sun,
And hold you in the palm of His Hand.

For to His angels He's given a command,
To guard you in all of your ways,
Upon their hands they will bear you up,
Lest you dash your foot against a stone.

And He will raise you up on eagle's wings,
Bear you on the breath of dawn,
Make you to shine like the sun,
And hold you in the palm of His Hand.
And hold you in the palm of His Hand.

Wednesday, January 02, 2008

Just read mei mei post
i dono how you heard it
but i know you love me too much
i need you now mei and dear
it maybe just 1 thing but i am just glad my core team stod as 1
we didnt get hurt, we just grew stronger
the love for him and the passion to spread his word just got stronger
i said to myself when i saw mei mei's blog,
dear you know me true and through,
i love you deep down
Char, matt, josh, paul, daniel and all the core!
Lets continue what we started, put everything aside,
lets take a deep breath and walk on ,
we chose this path together and lets move on
lets go on in in this together
you all have your choice; we're young you may have your commitments,
i know go on and choose what suits you best,
not forcing, just giving you each a space.
for all who are willing to stand in this together lets walk on
lets fight this battle for HIM nice and sweet.
Tough year but we'll make it through
just like ECP ; we'll b there for each other, when we fall, where we go, what we do, anything, we'll be there for each other and GOD as the centre of our every being!

Everything happens for a reason.
Every prayers get answered in HIS own place n time
Don force please, don force
i am in awe at the amazing start of the year
in school , at home. in church everywhere i am just amazed at hw everything is turning out to be i guess i am leaving it all up to HIM had a great time in school today but somethings happened
later on i went eat with Daniel, ivan and paul
he asked somethings and i am jus wondering to myself
" how about i just let go , everything , just be who i am ! outside church, leave this place called Godly people stay! would it be better? i wont have such headache! To take a big step and change it within 4 mins! omg! could anyone be more reasonable?
God didnt make the world in 4 mins! things take time
universe also take time to happen!
give me time give me space come on people !
don drive a spanner down my throat!
Yes if i leave church you will onli loose 1 person! but to God you lost his sheep!"
I love the church ! i love this HOME! but must i choose must i leave what i love so much ?" Tell me tell me!

Disclaimer: this post is just a reflection of thoughts and no humans were harmed in the blogging of this post except the person who blogged it.


Hand in Hand EH!!!

My mei n me, Chipmunk n jj

Group pic
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