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This is somewhere I voice my feelings & thoughts.
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Saturday, July 31, 2004

oh today was the fun day i had in NDP .. there were tired moments and there were also sad and happy moment.. well i was in NDP and it was raining well i had to say that it was damn pissing off when the taxi refuse to drive me in all the way,.,,.. so what i had to do was to walk all the way in to the damn stadium.. and than when i was there i was told the wrong timing and i had to eat myself alone at the leisure park.. haha what a joke man !!! me later went to meet y school mates,.. i was tooo tired to go and do anything.. i called ziqi and tok to him all day long till my batt flat.. iwanna tok to him i realli long time nv tok to him.. he nelson n john the same are the ones that realli cared for me as a younger sis.. well i dunno abt the rest.. well i told him i was in the hospital.. he was so shock he was like so worried and all for me.. i dunno what to say,.. though we were in the same hospital he is in there now.. and i m kinda worried..


later i went to meet my school mates.. and it was boring time till 4pm when i met my paul.. i gotta know a lot of new friends and all..so sweet of him to some so damn early.. he was so sweet .. argh i cant believe he was so patriotic to wear the same red t shirt.. it was the one that i got for him.. hahaz.. well i just sat there with him i was kinda piss off at the arrangement and all lah!! abt all the things that were going on in the stadium,.. so unorganise,. charles was so sweet.. when i was hungry he offered me $10 to buy something to eat !! man he is so sweet .. nvm i am fine now .. not hungry .. got my KFC to makan and all


i watch the parade till abt 8 than i came out to help tian tian .. well it was so fun coz i was kinda bored and i started being hyper after i eat!!paul shared with me.. and well you know when the fireworks came out.. it was so nice.. but i was scared so scared i held onto the chair..i tot to myself.. while paul went to wach his hands.. it is nice yeh but you know what i am scared .. where is he!! hahahsilly girl right.. but when he came i held onto him so tightly like there was no tomolo.. i was so scared.. i was scared it might fall on me etc.. whaos i tell you it was much better than last yr .. hahaz seriouly even pauls agress.


later we took bus there to the kallang and took 853 to serangoon hopeing to buy food to makan but not hungry so went home strigh meeting him later tomolo !!! for mass and we going st anne

Tuesday, July 27, 2004

argh i cant take it man!!! i damn fucking piss now i am sorry i have to blast it here i just wanted to tok to someone .. mummy and daddy are pissing me off.. i will surely leave this fucking house for sure i tell u... i dun want to see them already... so what if they pay a huge sum for my hospital i don give a damn ok.,.. i wana have peace.. fucking noisy at home.. watch tv also cannot.. daddy wan to waTCH TV can just fucking ask right why must shout and scream.. it is not as though i nv let him watch .. i tell you 1st if this carry on i will not be surprise i will leave this HOUSE... hear this ... i will leave if they continue their nonsense.. i make sure i will not come bacvk

Monday, July 26, 2004

just got home from the stinky place ... it is like super later already in the day well i dunno it was even the 26th  today man!! i have been in there for an awful loads of time... well it is okie i had fun and bad times... like what one of the dr said ... it is okie now you can go and tell everyone you survived through ICU!!!
 
well i am writting straight for the day in the ICU!! i have been there on the 1st day 21st which was a wednesday!! well i was very weak after that day i insisted on having be sent in coz i cant take it anymore i wont want to go on like that for so long so i went in.. when i got in i was diagnose with low blood low potassium. viral infection and all whao you know they were like machiam i was so improtant than they sent me striaght to ICU well in there it was like so scary man!! 1stly they had to inject me with more than 1 needle.. on both my right and left had.. well they than took away all my ring and all i was so sad.. you know why coz i brought my ring and all i tot maybe if i cant see paul or anyone of my family i know they are there when i see their things but no all was taken from me.. than they injected potassium and all the saline solution they can ever find in the room.. they also inject antibiotics into my blood.. i tell you was literally screaming mylungs out man!! later in the room i was like freaking cold.. i was under the air con and it was so dam cold.. i dunno if you had seen me in those state u will get a shock .. well paul saw all the drips and alll on my hand.. it was very pain and then i ad to take x ray and all .. it was so sweet of my parents to stay with me till 2 am on the 1st day to be with me... thoough they cant be there by my but they were allthere ...
 
later on in the day i was suppose to do 3 or 4 xray i didn't get the sleep till 3 am and i cant wait to go home.. or even to the general ward.. let me tell you oie!! don every stay in ICU ever i mean it is like machaim u are in an aquarium.. no one is there you just go and look at the fishes alone.. the nurses all when you lying down looks legless so yep!! UNDER THE SEA!! yeah later finally at 11 i was transfered out well i didn't have any hp or anything paul was there really sweet of him he took off just to be with me and for the past few days he has been there.
 
on the 1st day i was so scared i ask him to stay with me and he was so sweet he stayed he made sure i was not cold.. make sure the tubes were oki and the flow of the drip was oki!! well i was so happy when i see him.. he is my male nurse... you know he helped me up and all like a little baby!! well i had no hands to be exact coz he drip were on both sides one was swollen yeah and later on andre and angela came.. ppl i didn't expect would even come and see me even fr brian n gerard's family !! angela came of 2 days .. angel and matt came too.. well i know luke and maddie were sick and carment sent their regards.. thanks one and all.. i am out already!!!
 
i know staying in there is bomb for me and my family but i am sorry i had to be there i didn't wan the pain no longer i am just not eating when i need to !!! not like you all think i don wanna eat but it is that i cant eat!! well angela got me a bear hahha pinkie pink pink !! so sweet .. oh man it came in so handy i could use it to support my wrist when i needed to .. it was so pain. if you look at my both wrist they are big and swollen !! subsiding liao lah!!
 
yeah i was very sick and tired of staying alone i wanna be home so i did here i am the fastest time possible.. damn not into the hospital on weekends i tell you  was damn bored !! dead bored!!

Wednesday, July 14, 2004

today whao i dunno kanna ditch after class by inthu n darling .. haaha nvm then i join jenna boon hwee siqi weilin razmy kimmeng jinfeng and yaoming for lunch.. quite a lot of us.. well lat5er i met michelle there. she is having attachment .. poor girl she kanna he hand i think some burns or cuts.. well such a big cut.. but she is okie now!!


later on in the day i was kinda piss of with inthu well she was very piss off herself with razmy ,.. weell for the damn reason that Razmy is the class rap.. i think yes he is smart he is good but he is not as proud.. it is just becoz he is just a treat to her becoz of the fact that both of them are competeing with the damn 1st place and bcoz of the fact that he is always kinda very bad to her once.. well i don realli like it .. and recently when i ask her for help she too brash me off like that .. i don like it.. man i donno what i cansay about her.. well i realli can't care less.. it is like the only last yr and i dun wanna bother abt it no more.. get out of this school.. well i was thinking to myself that where should i head next...


well half way past my lunch we were toking abt joing this and dat and i was very disappointed with siqi and some of them that they wanna join the NIE coz it offers them a good pay what the hack.. don you ever think of how kids will feel if you do that.. they are ones you have to nurture.. the real students are all taught by teachers who are dedicated.. yes i wanna join to help the future kids that are going to be around.. to mould them but not what they are thinking .. what good pay stable and shit.. well what the hag man!!1


later in the day i went to aunts house and she cook dinner for me and then later i went home.. slept a while on my comp and then guess what .. kanna virus.. i now at derrick house uploading and doing up my comp he was realli sweet of him to wake up till now what time3am in the morning to do this for me !! now i gonna doze off he is still awake !!

Tuesday, July 13, 2004

second day of school i am sitting next to my DARLING in school and writing this.. hmm if you all have been reading my blog you will know who hsing yong is ,.. she is my 2nd darling .. i like tok to her.. today we were walking around school trying to do stuff for work !! for our school notes.. actualli shoulc be doing my pjt now but no i am too sian to do it.. i will go home and do it .. since now i so bored i just do this lah!! well i will just update the rest of my blog.. today lesson was not too bad at all i like it .. i learnt a lot too i enjoyed it.. well getting tosee some pest back in school oh my goSH!!!!
whao i had not a very good night now i realli miss mummy and daddy .. really do a lot man !! well i was in aunt house and i tot to myself i wanna go home.. i wanna be home i wan see mummy .. at least daddy bear and mummy bear.. i cried the whole night i told my mummy i sms her.. i told her .. !!
i later tok to paul i cried out to him.. well unless you read my blog the onli one who knows i realli miss my mummy and daddy a lot,. just imagine looking and staring in to the ceiliing .. i dun like it.. yes a few day yes but not too often.. i am gonna pack my things 1st thing tomolo i will pack my things head for home..

Monday, July 12, 2004

today i came to school i called up the girl ithia who is like an ass.. i tried to sell her a book at 25 and she refuse to buy it saying putting words into my mouth saying i say it was 20 sigh!! yesh and then when i was back for 50 mins later went with andrew to walk walk around the whole of bras bersa !!
we also bought his guitar strings and all .. whao it was amaizing man this guy we actualli tok abt intercession i must start planning for it and also that trip i was intending to have in this november hahahz i didn't buy anything than later met paul when i was on my way home i gohome wash up and change then later went to aunts hou7se.. there paul was eating with me.. hahah that poor boy hungry still nv say .. till i askhim !!
later i went to play uno with kevin boy and claudia !! he played too.. til 10:30 then he went home!! and i saw him downstair.s.. he so poor thing nowadays go home himself.. later i use the comp he help me wit the ipp stuff.. yes so sweet of him.. he is gonna come out tomolo yesh!!!!

Wednesday, July 07, 2004

well today was the 1st day i am home alone i dunno i have been very lonely i dunno why but well if you know what i mean .. well paul was with me.. i dunno how to say but i miss my own mummy..yes it is like very lonely at home just facing the four walls i was just thinking of all the times i have with my parents looking to my brothers room i just tot of the wonderfull thing things that i did with him.. just running to him when i am upset.. well i just feel so lonely.. i miss them.. yes i cried nearly flooded the house.. i realli dunno how to explain how i feel.. i just wanna see them again.. well today i was having half day i went to work and then later i went out i dunno where i gone.. oh i was suppose to meet andrew to play pool then when we met up i ended up shopping for his stuff. he wanna buy some shoe so i followed him to buy.. interesting right!! later that day i met up with paul he came over tok to me and than later we watch some tv and ate dinner.. he was the one who bought it for me whao so sweet of him !! well i just can't imagine anyone else so sweeet to ruch all the way down just for me with food and all.. beside my family and him !!!
oh i forgot to tell you i met up with inthu i told her my ipp officially ends this week already today.. well all i need to do is to have fun and relax for the rest of the week and get reaDY FOR SCHOOl soon

Tuesday, July 06, 2004

today was ery fun i had 1/2 day but i was kinda sad also i was thinking of things .. in the morning i went to work did some data entry and then i left for surveying SIMONE came in again .. it was feaking early man!!yeah than i left n before i left jiajia my supervisor said i don have to go for review.. so i have wed 1/2 day and thurs fri no work !! well not bad ehh!!

this half day i went to do survey and also went to get my brothers stuff.. it was so last min that he wanted a digi camera so i tot get him one since i have to .. i tot of passing mine to him but daddy didn't allow.. i ask paul if i could give it to him and he was so sweet he said.. " he said i know it makes you happy to give it to him so if you wan to give him i won't be angry ." but in the end dad got him a new one!! very very nice one !!

later i was that airport with him .. went to sent him off.. whao it is amazing mavis has slim down a little bit!! anyways both me and mavis were nagging his daylight out !! must take care must this must tat.. well i passsed him a book with all our photos in it and also the a little something for him to read!! itis a letter in the book !!hopefully he finds it!! well all can say is that "little worm misses big bird"...korkor you know what i mean!! yes it is hard to let go!!

i went to viewing mall i cried and tears just can't help but flow down my cheeks i hugs paul very veyr tightly i dunno what to do !! i am so helpless i don wanna go home i wanna be out i wanna go there myself i wanna buy a ticket and go myself .. i wanna be with them .. i miss my family !! i just cried.. i miss more of my brother.. i just can't bear to leave him .. but i know it is for his own good!! Good luck bro !! take care miss you man!! if you ever read this please know that i your sis misses you a lot !! Get your square hat okie!! don fall into bad company !! yes from now i will ba alone at home but i will take care of mummy and daddy!!

later paul sent me home he was really sweet he bought a lot of kueh lapis for me i was so touched.. he is so sweet .. he came with his army uniform i love it when he wears it !! man he looks so suai in it!! argh those were the days .. i tot he won't wear it for me anymore !!

Monday, July 05, 2004

today i had a kinda oki okie day at work lah !! not that bad i did up what i was suppose to do !! well sms ab he said kinda a lot of mushy stuff.. hmm i dunno what to say man!!

not that i am angry with him but i just cannot stand it.. i dunno hmm only like certain ppl say okie lah!! but not everyone !! i dunno lah today paul cannot coem out well i spent my whole day at home!! i enjoyed it!! i end work and took a bus all the way home .. at home brother have not pack his stuff yet .. well after so long nag at him still have not pack his stuff. i did somethings for him i pass to him it is a diary i mad myself though i know he will have it there a new diary but i still wan to make one for him !! very nice to have dones something nice for my love ones!! well i was very sad that he is going but at the saME TIME i am very happy to have pack things with him. he have tons of things not packed yet ar!! he actualli only have 2 lagguage and now he ended up using i dunno how many lagguages .. i have lost count man!! and what abt mummy and daddy well they also have not packed their stuff all worried over korkor big bird!

well he packk all his stuff.. he sure stared at one of my photo frames .. i just hope it does not crack when it is check in!! he that boy wanted to bring the bag that was torn and tatted .. i pass him my deuter.. it is one of those i like to use lah!! but very guyish i dun mind passing it to him !! yes so i packed his stuff and this bugger pack all his things in the bag !! all that he has !! he just pack in.. i think his whole waredrobe!! haahz!! but i realise his taste very good he bought a lot of nice clothes for himself.. i dunno if he will use but just to buy it is very nice leh!!...

yeah we packed till morning 12 am and than went to eat dinner last dinner together !! i wil sure miss him.. later he watch jackey wu i went to tok to paul and i fell straight to sleep .. i was not in the mood for toking i just wanted to be alone!! just be a lone .. i miss my korkor

Saturday, July 03, 2004

HEYHEY TODAY HAS BEEN KINDA VERY FUN FOR ME I DUNNO I AM LIKE ENJOYING MYSELF!! DON MIND THE CAPS OK !! I AM KINDA LAZY TO DOWNSIZE IT !!! OH WELL WELL HOW IS EVERYTHING FOR ME TODAY I DUNNO I WENT TO MEET UP WITH PAUL AFTER ENTERING MY BLOG AND I WENT OUT TO WATCH MOVIE.. WANTED TO WATCH A MOVIE AT GV KAOZZ LET ME TELL YOU IT IS IMPOSSIBLE TO WATCH SPIDERMEN OKI!! IF YOU DON BOOK NO CHANCE FOR YOU TO GO THERE AND BOOK IT IS SUCH A HOT ITEM I CAN NV BE ABLE TO BOOK IT.. WE GOT THE 1ST 3 ROWS FROM SCREEN 1!! NOT THAT BAD LAH!! I NJOY THE SHOW NO WONDER IT IS FULL HOUSE.. SERIOUSLY MUCH BETTER THAN THE OTHER SHOW... LATER I MET UP WITH MY MUMMY AND WE ATE,.. WELL WELL WE ATE DINNER LAH AT SOME OH I SEE THE KENNY ROGERS THERE!! THE ONE AT SUNTEC.. COZ AFTER MOVIE I WENT TO SUNTEC LOOK FOR THINGS FOR PAUL AND MY BROTHER.. I WAS TRYING TO LOOK FOR ANTIMOS FOR PAUL COZ I DUN WAN HIM AT OUTFIEL KANNA BITEN AGAIN BY MOSQUITOES.. IT IS SO FUNNY I TRIED TO LOOK AROUND BUT CAN NV FIND IT OH BUT I BOUGHT MANY BACK TO SCHOOL STUFF.. AND I PACKED MY CLOTHES LAST NIGHT AND FROM NOW ON I WILL HAVE TO WEAR MY BERMS AND ALL HAHAHZ I LIKE IT .. BACK TO SCHOOL WEAR IS NICER THAN WHAT I WEARING NOW !! YEAH LATER THAT DAY I WENT TO BUY CLOTHES FOR MY BROTHER.. I TOT IT WOULD BE NICE IF I BUY IT FOR HIM .. AND THAN HE CAN ALSO WEAR IT WHEN HE GOES OVERSEAS!!

Friday, July 02, 2004

whao whao i had so much fun today i went to school and i was like in a place called heaven!! no i am not kidding well the world and working world out there is scareing me hmm i dunno man !! as i am on my way to work today i took a bus and than slept on the bus till i reach some old man wake me up at city hall and ask me to get off but of coz i didn't than i say i not getting down he tot that was the damn last stop kaozz woke me up from my sleep well i was kinda piss man!! later went to work i dunno saw an intervieweeshe was freaking slow in getting her particulars filled up i was so impatient so was jia jia !!! well hmm btw i dunno i took some photos of my friends and will upload it onto my zorpia but the photos were taken a few days ago!! hahahz


yes later i went for ssdc the 1st time in eyonds i tell u i was so surprise that i actualli pass my evealution in 2nd try i was so shock i tot i will fail and fail than can't book test date man!! oh oh !!


yes later from ssdc i went to meet the ndp sir (MR ARSHAD) he was like a very fun guy like to joke okie lah this yr the guys kinda puny i dunno if they can make it or not this yr !! hopefully can lah okie!! anyways i dunno i am kinda sian at the place met michelle tok to her she was with her friends and well tok a while she ask me go zions joy i told her .. anything to do with ihm i dun really wanna be part of it !! nope not now i guess.. there are some pain i feel in me !! yes i should pick myself up from where i fall but hey no no man!! not now!! i will rise but not now and i make sure when i am up there those that one hurt me will pay double times or even triple of what they made me feel !!!


well later i came home i pack my room and cupboard and relise i hv so many clothes and i arrange my clothes such that i will have my needed clothes when i am starting school.. back to berms and off from formal wear.. so all shirts all off to cold storage !!

Thursday, July 01, 2004

well hey today i had a not so good day actualli it all started with me making paul angry last night go read my blog the previous day than you will know!! anyway i woke up waryl just to fine that he has not brought his work key home and i met up with him i jump out of bed just to bath and change and i saw him to work and later that day was kinda very pissed at myself for not being very concern n not a very good gf to him !!! yes it is all my fault i make him angry i may not show him enough concern well today my head and body ache but he was in so much ache and pain that i just don care abt my pain i rather say sorry the zillion times i can than to bother abt myself.

well yes he scolded me coz he was angry at me i got him into trouble nothing but trouble i am just a nobody i get ppl into trouble all the time i am just a little useless girl i dunno what else can i say i have told him many times but well but i still love him i realli do i know i have to change but it takes time i am sorry dear i know i have made you sad today don be angry i will try to change oki!!


well i dunno what i can say but all i know is that i have been kinda feeling sad and low recently coz i don wan my brother to leave he is gonna go to australia he will not be with me for 1/2 a yr i miss him i dun wan him to go i dunno i am thinking of him i just can't forget the past that we have the fun and all.. well korkor i will miss you !! well i dun wan to be alone in this house i hv to take care of my parents and i am boiled down with everything at home.. well i dunno i just wanna be with him he at home he can tok to me now i am alone no one to tok to me !! i know i have paul but none can really beat my brother in the care he has for me the fun n things we do !!

shit i am crying sigh stupid me !! well yes i am feeling very bad now very lonely it is mot far before he takes a plane off !! i miss him i will certainly do !! well kor if you ever come to my blog do read all my blog i wil tell you what is going on at home okie!! and in my life!! tag it if you can


when i was trying to sleep just now i was kinda awoken by a bad dream i have i think i ate too much and try to sleep well i dreamt than i went night cycling downslope and hills and on the steps half way through the steps gave way and my friends fell in through 3 stories and another one storey .. scary i called paul and tok to him he was very cute he say close your eyes,.. must close ar!! than think i=of all the nice memories we had.. k now go to sleep" i felt better now heading to sleep liaos goodnight