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Saturday, February 28, 2004

argh i am sosososoos piss i am ultimate failure in my life.. ultimate. friendship relationship studies..and what have you ... i just my results for advance i have failed it once again i am feeling very down.. paul just quarreled with me again!! realli i am like realli piss with him.. he ask me what he should do to cheer me up all these am i suppose to like tell him.. i dunno how can a girl tell a guy how she wans to be cheered up!! well if he still doesn't know ,.. i dunno .. hey look at it ok!!! i dunno what is like going through his head but mine is diffinitely bad bad things!!! i have loads of pjts up my head i am trying to cope with it and just now daniel calle dme and told me somestuff about him and his probs.... "daniel sit back relax watch nice shows man!!" i have absolutly no idea what i should do i dunno i am like very very hurt and all .. realli i guess the cloest to you hurts you the most.. the more you give te more you're hurt!!! i hope that is not true for me but it is!!!it seems so so true!!

firstly daniel called me tok to me i am starting to get piss. than like i said last nite someone kept asking me to sleep and all still piss with him.. than this morning he called up again and he said wanna go out .. than i was very happy thinking okie lah so stress go out rest a little bit.. but nononono he said oh later got 4th saturday and oh my mum sure wan me to go!! mummy's boy !! man i am like so piss lor!! 1st i ve happy tot got kakee to go out with me but now no leh !! he say oh i also got a slight fever.. i am worried abt him with his fever but comeon lor if you realli wanna go out you will lor!! not giving reasons.. have we come to a stage where he takes me for granted where he thinks hurting me is part and parcel of his life.. i starring at the comp and looking at a penknief..i realli wanna kill myself.. i am not stupid.. i feel very sad.. i guess not many could feel how i am feeling except raffino..

i am in many ways feeling very verylost!!! til the day he knows how to treat a girl with all his heart not just by saying words till that day !! i will not see him i realli would not .. i am realli hurt.. i dunno how to say but all i know is that .. who is there for me when i am down ? who is gonna be there for me? i so much wanna hear from him.. k lets go out today i won't go for 4th saturday !! tomolo we attend mass together.. no .. hell no .. he didn't even mention it .. i am very very sad.. disappointed.. i dunno what to do..

my advance theory i failed too.. i dunno i guess i expected it too.. i still expected to fail.. well nvm !! since life not many people there for me .. i shall just bury myself in my own home and rot to death !! ROT to death

trust me i am absolutly hurt by this friend... i tok to you already and you know who you are !! all i can say is ... i have tried my best to teach you the rest is up to you .. how can you ever teach a guy how to cheer you up? kaozz no comments man!!

enjoy your 4th Saturday.. i will not see you again i guess!!! byebye...
to all you blur sotongs out there,... ignore this if you want. just wenting frustration out

don mind my language today: arghhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! oh man i am so sosoososososo piss realli piss man!! i just put down the freaking phone with paul and he just piss the shit out of me!!! i can't sleep i just finish toking to mike n then i decided to call paul.. kaoz he realli made me piss .. i was very tired tot i just say a little goodnight to paul and i go to sleep .. and who know man!! when i was toking to him he just piss me off like that!! i tried to tok to him but it was almost useless. he kept saying oh you go sleep lah!! i called and i wanted to tok to you if not why i called .. argh i am fuming man !!! god help me!! i just wanted to tok to him i wanted to hear what he wanted to say and all but no no he sent he to sleep.. 1st time just now nvm now i called again same thing happens,. why doesn't he learn .. i am so piss.. fuming mad!!

doesn't he know that i am piss i told him don ask me to put down.. mins later he ask me go sleep than later i say i wanna tok to him he say he have nothing to say!!! conversation is a two way thing why is it that it is a one way thing for him man!! why why why ???? i will tok and he listens all the time and when i wanna give him the chance to explain and all he shuts his mouth so tight!!! argh this is getting no where.. what should i do.. an i hate this!!! argh

sch sucks life sucks so does.. friends too .. is that true?? i hate it man!! i know all of you all will say no you can look it in a possitive way .. yes i know i try to i wanna give friends a chance to explain i wanna start afresh i wan but when i wan him to say his mind out he shuts it so tight i don thing a bulldozer can break it open!! i hate this!!

k this boy realli ought to learn to tok to girls man!! he will continue to hurt me if he persist.. seriously !! i tot i reply him tok to him it would be better no no no .. he screw it up again!!!

HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i need a personal counsellor

now is 2am leh!! freak man!!! i hate this thing to happen in the night my night is burnt again

Friday, February 27, 2004

today i had a lot of fun realli a lot i had fun just out with 2 people i think they have realli help me relief my stress i know i have not been doing my pjt but wht the hag i just hack it!! it is kinda earli today that i am typing my blog !! till now paul has not called me .. yes he has sms but than again he has not called i am just waiting fo rhim to call hmm just put down the phone with A.B. .. was not concerntrateing coz i was paying attention to this little blog!!! i just got 2 peopled blog on my website.. hahaz jonny boyboy and michelle mei.. well they pass me their blig this morning !! okie the whole of today was spend just travelling with them round singapore !! from yck to hougang then to queensway.. i bought dress from there.. mei went to buy her racket but too bad i can't bargain for nuts.. realli think i am lousy at it.. but than again this place i find that any lesser we will realli make them lose their rice bowl!! yes but she bough it i bought this realli cute dress at 40"++ hahaz not ad looking very cute!!!

than today aft mei went for kick boxing i went to -wanted to play pool- but we played bowling i dunno it was kinda quiet or is it my skills are that bad but this day was not a bowling day man!! i duno did enjoy boyboy's comapny he was realli a nice person to speak to.. told him some stuff and he told me how he would feel if he was me and he was the other party... ok if you dun get it nvm it is okie !! hahhaz personal man!! then we went to mos burger to makan .. mei came she was very sad and all well tok to her hope she feeling better now ,.. and i guess it was the nicest and fun time we had .. oh and even in the bus.. boyboy if you can send the pic to my e-mail though

yes oh as i was typing my ginger that was stuck in my mouth the whole day is gone!!! totalli!!! hahhaz yeah thanks fro toking to me A.B. i feel much better already mouth not so pain already!!
the cause of that ginger was the "ma you ji" at kopitiams fault i ate and it could not be swallowed till now!!

yes well today i feel much lighter okie better head for work already man!! pjt due tomolo leh!! see you guys
yes now it is earli in the morning i just can't sleep ... just came home from school i stayed in school about 9++ i ended at 5pm but i stayed and played badminton with my SCL friends which is michelle and jonathan and manymany more!!! they had a match teachers too !! cool right they had a match with their teacher !!
they actualli have the chance to play with the teachers

well i also crash course with them !!! hahaz !!! i went to SCL and than i join their lecture.. and the thing was that the teacher allowed me to join the lecture for that day .. it doesn't clash .. bcoz i had lecture at 2 day so their lecture was at 1 -2 i attended with jonathan and alan and jesse !! yes i had a lot of fun today i was like trying to smash my shuttle cock all the way trying to vent frustration!!! i was also playing some songs from alan !! hahaz he taught me how to do that as in some songs!!

yes well at the end of the day i still feel a little lost i dunno just started thinking abt things but i am sure i do miss somepeople in my life.. i have not actualli been answering pauls sms i know it would have hurt him but i guess i need sometime to think abt things though i know it would hurt him but he seems not to care he didn't even bother to call me and tok to me realli he has not.. since yesterday he left me at night he has not call me .. i dunno just a little hurt.. he checked on me but i guess i just hope he would realli be caring enough to know what to do .. realli what to do !!

my mum came to school to pick me up and than i went to collect my photos it was realli nice photos it was my dad's bday photos.. i had taken nice family photos and i took oe supper nice photo with claudia i love it so much i will nv throw it away i will scan it and show you all later !!! hahahz

now i am on my way to doze off kinda tire already so i will see you soon tok to you abt tomolo later okie!! i start my hols already but it doesn't seem so man!! realli it doesn't.. things are all so messy for me !! i dunno what i should do and what i wanna do !! all i know pjt coming up i have not done it yet

Thursday, February 26, 2004

hey today i have been kinda stress in school things have not been well going well since the time my friends have left for his ns damn i dunno i guess i really have someting missing in my life.

i know i have many things left in my life many friends and all but hey llok at it if you have the close friend like what i have hmm i think you will know how i feel i guess a lot of stuff have gone all heywire for me well thinking it is fun out there i guess not man i dun think so.. well yes this day A.B. and andre didn;t call me and i just realli wonder how they are !!! argh my two friends are there .. yes.. well hmm i have been considering whether to go overseas i dunno if i should or not but i am still in a delimma sigh if i go there and realli i dunno how long i will be back and be there or will i stay there.. or should i just stay but seems like i will wana be where my brother is!! i guess i will realli miss him if i don see him so often i dun wan it !!!

just now i went wit paul to airport i guess there was a transition b/w me and paul it was like i had so much fun in school but than again when i saw paul he was all tired and all well i gueess it is that he doesn't speak much and dunno how to bring out the laugther in me !! yes but i do enjoy time with him.. he pushed me round the airport i had loads of fun but after awhile when i saw the airplane take off i started to think that hey not long later i will leave and so my bro too i dun want that to happened .. nono i dun want that to happen i dun wish to leave but if i stay here can i work here and i study here can i realli get a sch here for uni!! i wanna go uni it is my hope and dream to be there!! i wan to be there i dun wanna go into society with degrees and all !! not just with diploma!! i jsut tot abt this i started to cry .. sigh!

yesh today i was at the semina !! it was reallli fun to see michael loh he was my dad's friend!!!long term friend !!sigh man he was realli friendly he brough up the life in the students in the hall !! well i was the camera girl look at the photos which i will upload in the weeks to come it would be realli cool to view it ! sigh man !!! i had to take the photo walk up and down the LTK!!! well hey i was like catwalking up and down man in my heels !! hahaz but there brought back loads of memories where i was working in TEP and when i know A.B. hahhz yes that was when i tok to him and he helped me. people started to say i like him and all but well hmm i guess all i wanted was a close friend that cared for me and love me as a friend!! hahaz i dun wanna hurt anyone i dun wanna end up hurting a friend or so when i leave singapore . yes !! stupid right but somehow i dun wanna hurt you guys so hey just prepareing you for that day !! don be so sad okie!! if i realli have to leave you guys yeah!!

enough said i will have to go sleep soon !! see you guys

Wednesday, February 25, 2004

Just got home it is slightly earlier than usual that I am online. Hahaz stupid right!!! Well hmmm today many things happen in school I was very stress in time to come I mean okie !! here goes okie!! I ain yr 2 now right for sch.. than I am suppose to have my IPP (industrial placement pjt) in june vacation and later on in july 2005 I graduate.. well I have been really thinking how I can register for the july intake of the uni if I graduate so late!! Well hmm today it has been much easier for me alreasy!!

Aft so many yr of sch teaching than did the MOE realize that it was a waste of resources when SEC4s bump around for 8 mths doing absolutely nothing… it was high time they did something!! Yes now here is my schedule for this coming yr!! If I am not wrong here is how It would go!!

June I will still do my IPP but when it comes to term in yr 3 2004 I will have onli 12 weeks of sch and than to exams.. and we do not have 1 week hols anymore for my year!! Than we start our semester 2 in nov 28 2004 into 2005 than I will graduate by 2/4/2004 2 days before my bday!! Yes!! Than this gave me ample time to apply for a uni if I wan to or see if I can get into Singapore uni or overseas ones!! Seems to me like everything is going so so fine for me !! I wanted to enter in aug intake in Singapore but dunno if can so now looks like it is possible to do so!! If I onli try!!

Well It onli gives me 1 yr to think where I wanna go … yes I have many options but which is best for me I still dunno,,… I am kinda stress now I jus wanna tok to someone but seems that all my friends are no more there!!

After school I took an MRT to meet paul just wanting to give him a surprise hoping he could cheer me up but in turn he made it even worst…. I know it is not his fault but I guess sometimes the fact that he can’t cheer me up really makes me feel ve sad.. he left me at the MRT station and I was really sad I called Raphael to come out to his his house outside to pick me and I ask him to call paul over I just wan him to enjoy his time out of camp and his stress..

Anyways enough said about today lah!! Hahaz I went to Raphael so called farewell party.. met some new friends yes I was kinda shock to make new friends but the best of all it took a child so innocent to cheer me up .. I dunno but to tell you all the truth only kids and some people can really touch me and cheer me up when I am really upset!! Ahahhaz yes later when paul came for the party I had a nice time with him n JB korkor n nelson korkor sigh we tok till almost 12 than we went back I dunno how Raphael mummy feel when I threw Isaac around !!! hahahz but I had fun !! I tok to A.B. and I told him and I told him how I felt about things… yes hmm he will always remain my truthful friend always I wan this to go on!!

Okie yes now it is kinda late so I will make it to my bed now paul just sent me home so I will go sleep already lah tomolo is a long day oh I mean short day.

Tuesday, February 24, 2004

moring again !! now it is abt 1am in the morning just finished my dinner... sigh now in the mist of doing nothing so just pop by to type out how was i today!! well hmm actualli all was very average till just now when i was toking to paul.. hmm a little squabble ...

anyways well as i was saying my day was good.. it was like very fun with darling and the rest in my class not too bad lah!! oh well now the place here in my house stinks.. smoky.. better write this and head to sleep man!! smoky here!!

i went to school with my brother.. it was the 1st time my brother came to my school with me always is the other way roung where i have to fetch him to work and all !! yes this time he was in the taxi with me .. he was heading to sembawand camp to do his guard duty!! it was so sad for him and me .. actualli for me coz i will not see him for 10 days!! it may be very short to you guys but to me and my bro i guess i will miss him of coz .. i dun like it when he has to stya incamp or guard duty!! no no i hate itpaul too 1 month of guard duty !! he is sure gonna miss his birthday celebration .. maybe celebrate in jurong island!!

sigh !! looking at my timetable i think i am gonna faint man when i look at it.. it is 1 week of term break and 4 weeks of lesson beofore sch closes time flies man !! till now frankly i stil dunno what the hag is the teachers teaching seriously esp those very sian teachers.. not that i dun pay attention i do .. ask anyone in class i do but the thing is that i am very poor at memorising it when it comes to test i think all the time i gonna fail and all .. scary man!! anyways so far i have been doing well for my work and pjt!! Thanks to AB for his help and all i can do certain things on my own!! guess his encouragement. paul once told me "dunno must ask teacher this teacher cant help go the other one" i tried and now i am okie not that bad at my work alreayd!yeah thanks !

yep than later i was on my way to church when i called friend of mine and tok to him he was like kinda insensitive abt how i would feel he mentions some friends name that i feel inferior to. and when i was piss at him he stuck and dunno what to do.. i dunno it is like so ironic or so one way thing .. when he is down i would be there to counsel him and all but who would be there to counsel me when i am down .. yes but a true friend who would be there.. i want this friend who can tok to me !!

yeah we tok abt this for quite a while and then later i was ve sianzz i decided to give in !!what ever it is i shall just forget abt it !!!

yep later AB and paul called that night and collected something for mitch from aunty angela !! at her clinic.. yes some thing she need for her pjt!!! anyways !! i go 1st i very tired will continue my life tomolo

Monday, February 23, 2004

goodmorning everyone!! now as usual everyone of you will be asleep except for me and my brother.. yes talking abt him as the times grow nearer i realli miss him loads.. i dunno but i just think i will miss him more and more each day!! since young we have been playing together and squabbling and all i think i m going to miss him when he leave me this june.!! some of you all maybe wondering why i m looking for a confidante and all yes that is why !! hmm my brother as some of you know is the closest to me esp in terms of in the family and he is my onli bro!! we may have some small arguements here and there .. over computer.and tv and shows and "hong bao" yesh!! but now i m going to miss him !!! he is leaving for australia soon and there is no one to tok to me as much as he does anymore... play pillow fight and all .. well treasure the time i have with him !! of coz but it seems he has spent more time with his darling computer than his sister.. his computer is his lover andall time fav.. not his sis!! sigh!!

yes just put down the phone with my 2 closest friend A.B. and paul !! yes they have been realli nice friends to me!! the nicest i can say no one can be nicer to me than them and my family.. not say that you all are not nice to me.. but at present they are the closest... nelson , carmen , eileen , mitch , me, amanda, jim , paul , sam, matt , angel.. and of coz edwin hahaz!! mucus man !! he's realli handsome now man!! when the last time i saw him he was realli dashing ops .. yeah .. whao its been a long time since i was with them .. have been growing phrase for most of us.. i realli do hope that they hold same memories as i did and i do !!! wonderful ones

as compared to last time i realli miss those times when i was the little baby of the family of my friends.. but now i have so many younger friends and it seem that i have become mummy and godma and what have you !!! yeah!!! old already but i still miss those RCIY and FITs days where all of us use to sit down listen to fr james tok and play and arm wrestle..

well ever since then i have been growing with the people around me .. realli thanks to all of u .. esp my 3 little angels... louis JB and shaun .. i will nv forget you all .. when i am down you all will always be there for me. somewhere somehow you all will just appear.. recently there has been another 2 angels paul and A.B. they are there to help me everyday in my life.. each day they will just drop a call or a sms to ask me how am i .. so sweet of them. they have special places in my heart!!

anyways i was very busy today doing nothing except my blog!! i think i a little bit crazy abt this blog thing liaozzz but anyways i still very much like this to go on in my life.. i want to let my close friends know how am i... all the time.

today i went out with manfred greg matt justin ian hazel and alex and mike for lunch. than we went to cs shop stayed there for abt 2 hrs odd then went back to kopitiam eat again.. hazel have not eaten... she is a reall sweet girl... anyways today i just realise something from this whole event of the day!! i have not spent enough time with my brothers.. realli miss them so much!! when i hugged manfred before i left i felt so heavy in me i just didn't wanna let go!! i just wanted to let them know that i realli miss those times when i was there at every event with them .. every mass every sunset mass and all the time i have i spent it with them i miss those times.. just being out with them .. things have certainly change.. but one thing has not change .. the fact that their "jie" will always be there for them nomatter what happened. greg you too.. i have a new brother in my list this accounts to 10 of them.. greg is one of them.. yes .. oh today so nice,.. i got piggy back again.. by justtina dn greg.. they carried me at the way to kopitiam.. they were realli strong.. hahaz!! thanks bros hope i didn't break you back ! but i guess to them!! "am i even carrying anything?"

hahaz i guess i am realli light!!! ops or should i say i have lost weight!! just now andre calle me .. he was in camp and he was busy and just wondered how he was i realli miss him man !!! he is in mohawk no .. sigh i realli can't wait for 3 weeks to see them all .. even now paul is in jurong island sleeping his ass out.. yep i shall too .. till then take care guys!!! hope i dun bored you to death !!

Sunday, February 22, 2004

whao whao look at the time now for the day.. i am soo sooo earli in the morning .. well today i was having a not so happy day.. well somethings just happen btw me and a friend .. yes a friend of mine just broke a promise today .. erm kinda serious one and i am kinda piss with him in the morning n afternoon .. and later in the day he did many things to try to mend it back but still i was kinda hurt by his actions lah !!!

we went to beach road .. army market.. whao there was very hot and things have change since the last time i went with JB and paul!!! erm when JB was doing his BMT!!! yes i was there .. i was searching for things to buy tot of buying a new adidas shoe but end up not buying .. no money for now.. !!! just wondering how broke i can be man!!! i am like 1/2 off my bank account budget!! OCBC users should know what i mean !! we went for lunch there. whao it was almost 3 oclock and i have not eaten.. yes so i had a delicious bowl of "kway teow" noodles... it was so nice.. oh and a cup of sugarcane!!! boy it was .. delicious man!!! too bad i got ulcer so can't eat the char siew rice!!! sob!!!

later at mass this little boy piss me off again... man!!! why are guys so tooot one!!! well yes anyways i was angry again .. later then was attending mass with a lot of people!! paul, nelson, mitch, carmen, mike, and alexander... i was also near all the brothers... (daniel, gregory, joel, ian, ally, corde, kenneth and justin) yes today was manfred's sweet 16 and i can't go.... feel kinda sad though .. i guess i just didn't wanna make things diff for him!!! yes... btw MANFRED SWEET 16th BIRTHDAY!!! though it has past by a few mins but happy birhtday still !!!

later we went KOPITIAM makan with daniela brothers... well there we wrack havoc sei!!!! daniel just had a twin .. greg just had a GF .. the tree "daniel!!! corde just had a lover reavealed,.. mike!!! hahaz when we told it to him ... corde was blushing all the way lor!! realli .. and also i was conversing with mike on the telephone there was a hell lot of noise.. but i manage to ask him how come he so long nv call me and sms me.. he said i had new darling he dun wanna bother me... kaozzz i feel so bad...

i dunno but i guess mike i do miss the times i tok to you at my void deck .. really those times at the swing and all.. you have have to shant away from em.. ... i do miss those times.. sometimes i do wonder where are you how you doing .. please take care okie!!

later afterlunch we went to heartland... buy manfred a chain and collect his bday cake!!! well everyone paid for it.. well met GK there.. she was like saying don you know i am going? well sorry GK i dunno coz i not even going !!! now you know the reason dear!!!

later daniel greg and GK left for manfred house.. i went home.. paul bought me ice cream!!! i was very surprise though i was full it was realli sweet of him!! i was realli shock!! i tot he would buy the cone 25cents one!! he bought "macolossso" so sweet of him!! than on my way back he was with me.. than i realise i have many miss calls in fact 11 miss calls.. 9 of which A.B. called.. i replied then when we were conversing on the phone paul heard a little of our conversation... but today while toking to him he kept toking to his bunkmates.. so distracted so i decided to be kinda cold to him ... till he doze off how nice of A.B.

paul walk me all the way home.. ops not walk !!! piggyback!!!yes he did he piggy back me all the way back to the basketball court i was sleeping and by the time i woke up i wass at the basketball court .. he walked from syls house to there.. aww i was so heavy he still carryied me!! i dunno while walking i just fell asleep oh how silly of me.. sigh man!!!

yes tok and tok after that .. now it is 2 30 and i still awake well okie lah i head to bed liaos dun tok cock alreadk!! see you soon!! ops gotta assign work for monday !!! BF tutorial.. see you man!!! bye

Saturday, February 21, 2004

yes I just came home .. Whoa all shag man !!! Was out with "backyard cats, ubin chickens, sembaowao dogs and the jurong parrots" Gerard and Paul know what the hag I am toking aft

yes well Paul was really sweet today I converse with him on the phone and I was really down and sad and then I didn't wan tok. He asked me where I wan go I didn't say anything I dunno where I wanted to go all I wanted to do was to chill out stop thinking aft stuff that was up my head. A.B. You know know what I told you just now aft what darling said to me in school yes.. It was bugging me .. Head was in the mess. Well dunno what to do..

k the bulk of it was that I was selfish I didn't want to lose friendship like the other time. Yes..I was all lost I told everything to A.B. just now .. And then I also tok to Paul aft it .. He said he will be there if I needed him. A.B. Has left me for 2 days to be exact and now I really feel his lost he told me something that happen in camp and some personal things I was really very sad I wanted to be there to help a friend but I can't .. yep all of you will be asking me and telling me there is a time to let go but not this time.. not this friend never.. I will hold this friend foever.. okie.. to put it bluntly to you guys he was the very 1st friend who was there for me .. 24 hrs .. not now but last time.. I dunno aft now.. when I lost my hp, to when I was at the YEPP seminar and was very nervous on a skit I had to do, to NYP open house when I was sick and all .. Yes he was a friend there by me all the time.. so did my darling and so did Paul of coz. but still I dunno how to say but this friend is real!!!

yep this maybe a big or maybe small or even old news .. but hey guys!!!! I maybe going to Australia to study I dunno if that is really confirm but yes I guess it is also my parents plan for me to go to Australia so san jiejie, i'll see u there man !!! dunno which uni yet but somewhere I can study and get a degree and continue my career in life.
Life can really play with me !!! I have two choices in my life:
1) join the NIE if I can to become a teacher or if not;
2) go overseas and study come back and work later on
argh what the hag.. I dun care anymore I left it to GOD !!! Yes He will do what he thinks is best for me I guess!!!

no I am not that sad .. just now I met Paul and he bought me a rose.. just to cheer me up I was hell load of shock .. whao all the while demanding for flowers dun have but suddenly out of the blues he bough for me.. awww so sweet of him. Yes and then we went to beach to play.. He piggy back me and we ate dinner there.. later met the backyard cats then we went to pub !!! had some Drinks and than felt like dancing but too bad no one on the dancefloor sigh !!!!

so gerard fetch us home and than on the way home we had macs ice cream .. seems like a common day to you all right no no not at all I had a wonderful day

maybe like what did mitch said to me yesterday .. I am someone who likes surprises and new things anything that is new and special I love it!!! hahaz now you all know ar!!!

k lat it is kinda late liaos !!! now 2 am still awake eyes wide open think of beautifying my blog I will see you guys !!! tomolo btw.. send some messages to me okie !! on the post

Friday, February 20, 2004

now i am slacking around in my house yes i am so so bored.. i feel like just sitting by the beach at this moment just tanning my life away.. yes you can still hear.. sense the very bored and sad me right.. btw will be back later to continue this i'll head for lunch 1st see you !!!

Thursday, February 19, 2004

well well this is not a very goodday for me i guess hmm i was kinda boiled down with some probs.. well now is like 2 ++ and i am spending time with mitch.. and what the hag i am all in a mess i dunno what to do.. i was helping her do her webby okie hmm lets see where do i start i will start from what happen to me last night till today .. if you alll in to hear it just carryon reading.

yes i was very stress yesterday coz i was taking my advance test again and this time i try not to fail. as usual i tried to call my friends when i am free both A.B and Paul .. yes both of them are like as busy as ever.. i was realli ve cranky firsly maybe like what some may say i am not ready to let my friend go. let him go into NS yes of coz hey he has been the best friend i ever had. well after my test i tot to myself.. Damn i got set F again for advance .. this is shit man!!! argh!!! yesh then i took a MRT down to the east side hoping to meet some people but guess i was ignored very terribly by them .. yeah !!!

i went to the beach a lon. it was the 1st time in my entire life i feel so lost a lost of a friend a felt of loneliness .. i felt very very lost in my life. i dunno what to do .. the wind kept blowing into my direction .. i so much wanted a friend by me and to tok to me.. just to hear me out.. but at this time of the night i dun think anyone would be awake to come out to meet me .. at the BEACH !!! yeah!!! sigh then when i was still there A.B. called he was realli sorry for not answering all the calls .. paul did call too. so did my darling in sch..she was so accurate .. called at the right time i realli need someone to tok too .. to bad batt flat i tok to them till i cried.. "flooded " pasir ris man!!!

yesh then i went home i was very quiet last night went home no one home not a single soul man!!! then tried to look around for kors and jies to tok to but none awake.. yep i just went to sleep with night mares that haunted the shit out of me.. and later i hope to wake up in the morning to see A.B. off to tekong...

Shhhh.. it is a surprise i will not tell him.. yes i was there before him i didn't expect his reaction .. i nearly cried when i saw him i was so so reluctant to go man !! even to let him go.. yes i gave him a letter i went off to school..

on my way to school my mind kept running up and down.. i dunno what i was thinking .. i walk into school open my locker to take my jacket i saw the bear he gave me i unwrap it and gave it a real big hug.. i didn't meet a friend b4 that was so close that made me cry and miss them so much till this extend.. A.B. you're the 1st .. i want this friendship o last til the end .." PERIOD" hahahz you know what i mean.. yesyes...

well now heading for my cross cultural lesson i was realli lost till now.. hoping to get over it asap .. realli hopeing to lead on in life without a friend by me each day to say.. "erica eat your lunch ", "i'm at skygarden!!", "i'm at EPCentre" , "take care of bear bear for me!" "win already lor!!!" , yes i am not in the mood to tok to anyone abt anything .. Paul i hope you know what i am going through .. if those who realli know can you realli do me a favour.. Pray for me!!!

Wednesday, February 18, 2004

oh well it is yet another day for me to dread school but it seems so low somehow or another. well today i guess if i am not wrong it would probably be the last time i see my friend -- A.B. Why some may ask .. coz he will be enlisting soon.. oh well hmm it is realli tuff within 1 week i lost 2 friends to gvt. yeah i guess it is a new phrase in their lives i have to wish them all the best. well anyways yes why am i upset coz he is leaving coz it realli seems like i have found someone who is so nice and close to me in school who take care of me and nv let me go on starving myself yes .. that is him. he realli made me feel like a baby sister again and so to speak little princess. hahaz yes .. just like all other friends we squabble etc.. but i guess this time i realli think i am gonna lose him for good .. realli .. coz it is the ESP in me that made me feel this way .. i mean it is not easy for him to come out and when he does he maybe tired i all but none the less i will wish him all the best . well well just wondering what school will be like with out AB to take care of me. hmm have you ever lost a friend so dear and close to you ? well hmm so close that u meet up every time just taking abt anthing under the sun ? it feels like that for me ,.. yep yep .. just read an e-mail so will reply it will tokto you people out there later..
btw he's the 1st friend who help me to adapt to NYP a place where some people maynot like it coz it is cold.. yeah he was the 1st friend i had realli cool friend and great one too

Tuesday, February 17, 2004

Friendship is like the breeze,
You can't hold it,
Smell it,
Taste it,
Or know when it's coming,
But you can always feel it,
And you'll always know it's there,
It may come and then go,
But you can know it'll always be back.